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I sent the paperwork to the lawyer and now the wait begins. I almost hope the judge does not allow me to be the conservator of her finances. I applied for it as well as to be conservator of her care, because it will save her money longer and be much cheaper that an attorney or accountant. But it is all so stressful. Relatives have borrowed money from her to buy cars. At the time, she had enough sense to put the cars in her name. However, recently they have forged her signature on one title to switch it to their name and had her sign over another. I don't know what the judge will do. I guess, I'll have to sue all my relatives. This is tens of thousands of dollars we are talking about.

I did move her recently, so she is closer to me. The AFL could no longer provide enough care for her, and she doesn't have enough money to pay a round the clock caregiver. She's in memory care now.

I haven't told the other relatives where she is, yet. I want her to have some adjustment time before they start their rants. I don't plan to 'hide' her. I just need a week or two. There was enough drama when they found out that she had to have a sitter. (I had to hire one, until I could get the move arranged.) One main relative called the AFL, hospice, and the sitter service ranting (read screaming) that she be kept informed. I actually did laugh when the ED of the AFL told me that he said to her "You don't visit her, so I didn't think you were interested."

They did visit her long enough to get her signature for cash and cars, though.

My husband puts up with this, but I know he would rather I not be conservator, too. Mom's house and affects still need to be sold. I can't just put it up for sale, though, because the relatives are actually dangerous. I can see them showing up during the estate sale and causing chaos.

Most of the rest of the family cut them off years ago. Why was I stupid enough to think they would never turn on me like they had already turned on everyone else?

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Galoshes59, Sorry your family sounds like mine, horrible having to deal with this! I just today signed over guardianship to an attorney, I'm co-conservator, I have to tell you I'm relieved! Both parents have dementia, they are very difficult, so I'm now GOOD COP, meaning I can just say really the attorney is making you do this really! I've taken such a beat down from my parents and my dad's sisters the Killer Ants! I now won't have to deal with them! I pray all goes well and the attorney gets what we're asking for from the judge. I have no other reference, but if your family is like mine, get outside help, other than the crazy, selfish, family members. Elder attorney but you will have to do your home work!
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I think I would check with some area senior citizen centers to see if they have any recommendations for reputable elder care attorneys in your area to handle this for you. In the long run I think it will be money well spent and many less things you have to worry about. To me it would be so much easier to tell a threatening relative "Talk to her attorney" than have to constantly defend my conscious efforts on my loved ones behalf. God bless you!
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Lawyers do charge from $125-150 an hour and rarely visit an elder in a nursing home setting which is imperative that they know what is going on. If money is no object, then a lawyer is fine. I strongly suggest an impartial party who is a Nationally Certified Guardian/Conservator who has a clean record for compassion and honesty. Charges are usually $25-50 per hour. Also consider a volunteer guardian/conservator in your area that you know and trust. Pay this person for his/her time. SK
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i agree. let the lawyers take over. i found paperwork for $100,000. loan that my FIL was paying out of one of his accounts. when i asked him about he had no idea what i was talking about. so i called the lawyer, found out his son took out the loan. to make a long story short the lawyer made it much easyer on my FIL and me
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Famished it sounds like your mom's finances would be better served by a professional. If these characters are dangerous, the cops are going to take a complaint from the lawyer or accountant much more seriously than they will yours! Save your energy for managing mom's care.
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