Should I allow NH to deduct monthly rent from mom's account?

I am concerned you felt coerced. This is very normal and if you are power of attorney it is so much easier. My bro's assisted living takes it automatically from account as does his supplemental health care company. They send the receipt directly to me for my bookkeeping. You must, if you are POA for financial keep careful records each month in an account book and folders for activities in EITHER case. She has no right to Mom's bank statements, though a nursing facility always asks about assets. They want to know how long you can afford their facility, basically. But everything we did was VERY carefully set out and explained in black and white, and if you felt tricked that is a bad sign. We were also assured that any extra charges would be cleared with me before charged, and that has been the case.

I would be concerned. When you set up automatic payments for other bills you don't give them total access to your account, the nursing home only needs the routing and account number along with authorization to debit the account. Discuss this with your bank, they have experience with this kind of thing and can tell you if these requests are unreasonable. Nothing is irreversible, you had to give them permission, you can retract it. Your bank should be able to help with this also.

I would allow automatic payments to be made to the nursing home but there is no good reason they need control over her bank account. They don’t need to access her bank account other than to make the withdrawal for the monthly payment. They don’t need her bank statements every 2 months either. If she’s on Medicaid then it’s renewed annually. You’re right, something is off here.

Sounds like they just set up automatic payments. Seems normal enough.