My dad is 84 years old. He is currently living in an Assisted Living Memory (full) care facility.

He has advanced Lewy Body Dementia, but physically he is doing well. He is mobile, but has several falls each week. He will often miss the chair when sitting and land on the floor.

He has difficulty eating. Not from the physical act of eating, but he has difficulty identifying and locating the food. He has lost 10 lbs each month for the 3 months he has lived there.

He also has difficulty identifying the toilet and will often squat on the floor.

Last month, I was informed that I would need to move him to another facility because he had "squatted" in the public hallway and in another patients room.

I live in a small city, with only 2 "complete care" assisted living facilities. Both of these facilities are rated very low (via Medicare inspections), and are far from desirable. One facility turned dad down because of his potty issues. I chose not to consider the second facility.

I was able to find a very nice complete-care facility 90 miles from my home (Sagecrest Alzheimers Care Facility). This place has an exceptional rating from Medicare. The place is beautiful. The understand dad's problem and believe it could be solved by paying attention to his behavior and approaching him every couple of hours.

Then.. 1 week before the deadline to move dad, I was told his current facility would let him stay (he had had no incidents in 3 weeks). The Sagecrest facility put dad on their waiting list.

Today, I got a call from Sagecrest to let me know they have an opening.
My conundrum.. Should I move dad 90 miles away for the better care now (visiting him once a week), or keep him close to me in a facility that I believe could/should be taking better care of him (visiting him daily)?

The current facility will ultimately kick him out when he becomes incontinent. The newer facility will keep him for the duration of his life.

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geewiz, thank you for the idea of posting a picture of a toilet on the door. I just printed one off.
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The problem he has is identifying the toilet. He can be standing in front of it and still not comprehend that it is a toilet.

I put a bright purple toilet seat on it, but that doesn't help much. He just needs someone to guide him and help him sit down. He can do the rest (including cleanup) himself.

The cost of the newer place will also be a noticeable (but do-able) bump.
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Yikes, what type of memory care place kicks out prople whe they become incontinent??? At the memory care place I have a great deal of knowledge about, they toilet the residents on a schedule. Of course, people can go as needed, but they are brought into the toilet on a routine time schedule (upon arising, before lunch, etc.). Still, I am a BIG believer in frequent visits, so personally I would opt for the one near your home. As long as you are visiting each day, you might try to reduce the problems by toileting him during your visit. Is there an image of the toilet on the doors, dementia residents often need cues.
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