So long story short, I moved in with my boyfriend 4 years ago. He lives with his grandma and uncle who is borderline special needs. 3 years ago her crohns disease and rheumatoid arthritis got the better of her and she also developed a mrsa, leaving her now on hospice care. She was already being given IHSS hours which her grandson was providing the care for. I use that term lightly as he more or less just filled out her time card and didn’t do any work. Well coming from a professional background of caregiving I naturally stepped up to help when she became bedridden and non ambulatory. It was my pleasure. Well it turned into a nightmare. He literally does nothing. I sort and dispense her meds daily, dress a never ending cycle of bedsores and torn skin daily, have the weekly meetings with nurses and doctors regarding her care, do her laundry and flush her catheter line daily, change her diapers and physically put her on the portable commode when she warns me she has to go.
The relationship with boyfriend got bad a year in, now we’re practically enemies living under the same roof. With 3 dogs that bark, attack, whine, piss, and sh*t all day long, the uncle who insists on blaring the tv 24/7 to the point you can’t even hear the doorbell and has to narrate nonstop whatever he is seeing. That all is now compounded by her calling for me in the form of screaming for help every ten minutes. And an endless stream of really insignificant needs like turning the tv up, fixing her sleeve, scratching an itch, telling her what time it is, turning her over, giving her tums or Advil, or her prescribed pain meds that she wants every two hours.
I get maybe 2 hours sleep a night while he does whatever he wants, AND collects the IHSS money that I’m doing the work to earn. Granted I do have food and personal needs paid for like hygiene cigarettes, meals. But I still think the financial arrangement is so unfair...I’m now dependent on this situation. I have extreme burnout and find myself yelling at the dogs and her. To which I am made to feel that I am mean or something I’m that vein. I have tried talking to him and he doesn’t see or care to accept what I’m saying. I cannot handle the stress of this Zoo anymore especially when I have a cardiology appointment this month to discuss a worrysome ekg that I had done recently. Advice?