My mom is in her late 60s and a few years ago started to show a significant change in memory function. She was having issues with short term stuff. She is and always was extremely independent and blunt (undiagnosed, and yes I understand I am not a psychologist, so take it with a grain of salt please borderline personality disorder)
She was fired from her job, went on unemployment, then disability and finally retirement. Memory wise she just seemed to decline.
Currently she constantly talks about old stories from when she was working or growing up. I'm not trying to exxagerate but if she's watching tv or seems something when I'm driving she's got some story about how X happened to a coworker or Y happened to her sister.
She has practically no short term memory and constantly asks the same question over and over. For example if she doesn't see my younger brother she asks if he's at work (he has two jobs) and then later on she'll ask again.
The last doctor appointment she went to, my father was supposed to go in the room with her. The nurse said oh we're just taking vitals. Mom didn't know what to do and came out with no idea of what they did. Dad ended up checking the paperwork and finding out she was given 2 vaccines and told to get lab work done.
In Nov 2017 I got a referall to a neurologist for Mom. He told her to keep taking Aricept (minimum dose) but didn't give me a diagnosis or any suggestions.
They have since switched back to Kaiser and I was able to have her refered back to Neuro. The visit did not go well and is why I'm lost.
Doc was extremely blunt, asked me what I "thought" the issue was with her. Wouldn't let me speak with him without Mom present (that was extremely nice, trying to explain how her mind has deteriorated over the last couple years while she's sitting there listening and starting to cry)
He did a few tests, and that standard mini mental test where she had a breakdown and started to cry because of how his was pressuring her. If he had let me speak to him he would have been able to understand she has an undiagnosed learning disability (bad childhood abuse and neglect) and she does have some underlying angry and emotional issues.
His diagnosis is that we're completely wrong, she doesn't have dementia or anything but depression and anxiety and needs intensive counseling.
I and my dad are baffled. We live and love her. We know this isn't forgetfulness and resentment because we don't let her drive. He told us to feel free to stop the Aricept and that her PCP will give a referral to pysch. Right now my plan is to stop the Aricept as told and try the therapy with her. But does this make sense? Should I try to get a second opinion?
Is all this just because Dad and I started trying to pick up the pieces after she lost her job? Dad does all the cooking and I do all the driving.
I love my Mom so much. The changes I've seen are killing me. She used to be the closest thing to a best friend I had. I don't have much of a support system outside of Dad, so any advice or suggestions on resources would be helpful.
San Gabriel Valley, LA County, California
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