Is there anything I can do to get whatever it is she's manipulated my dad into signing dropped? - AgingCare.com

Is there anything I can do to get whatever it is she's manipulated my dad into signing dropped?

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I am my dads only child. he has been living with a lady for 20 yrs refusing to marry her so i would inherit his property. They have had public fights about this in front of family members. . She had told him many times if anything ever happens to him that his daughter(me) would make shots,not her he said yes i know. recently hes had delusions of bugs crwaling on him and people talking tohim that is not there. Dec 2015 he went in hospital and Dr told him he had to have by pass..he was seeing bugs then as well. She demanded he go home for a few days before surgery agaisnt Dr orders. In the 2 days at home she drug my dad to a atty and got something drawn up so she would be the ones they would talk to and not me. While at hospital she would not allow me to call and talk to nurses about him and refused to give me passcode. She will now ignore my calls and only return them when shes not with my dad. Its been alot of nasty stuff going on to do with her and her greed. Now 5 months later i have not spoke with him i have to check with my uncle to see how he is and she has brain washed my dad and my dad is septic and to weak to have another surgery to go in to fix a leak in his heart . My uncle asked him today if he wanted dad to call me,..he said no after how she talk to me on the phone and how she snuck out at moms i dont want her around.....I have not talk to him in long time on phone the gf will not answer,..and the sneaking out hes talking about was when i was 16-17 staying at my grandmothers,..im 46 now and that was long time ago hes not mentally stable to be thinking that was a recent thing. Im not allowed at the hospital im not allowed to call or anything.

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Unless there's a LOT of money at stake, I would wash my hands of both your father and his girlfriend. I'm sure you have more than enough trouble in your life without this.
He wasn't a good father when you were little, and he's not a good father now. Bestow your love and attention on your husband, children, and friends.
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we know she took him because they went to his brother and borrowed the money from them but said it was for Dr appt,..but he found out it was for atty. When he was in hosp when they said he would have to have bypass the drs only talk to me ,..as his next of kin and that caused issues,..so she insisted he go home for the 2 days before surgery then later when he came back for bypass she made a big issues that they not talk to me about anything.
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He had nothing to do with me growing up he never came around until he needed something from me,..(money) and I and my husband and girls had a relation ship with him for a few years then when i would call her to set times to get together she would say they didnt have time,..i heard from other family member that the fact he refused to marry her or set a will leaving everything to her she would get mad,..i cant make that choice for him. But after 2 yrs of calling her to set holidays ect and she wouldnt answer or they were to busy,..I just stopped,..then 5 months ago he got sick and i went to hospital when he had bypass,..that is when it was brought to my attention by family that it was her not dad,..that i should have been setting up things with him,...this is when i found out it was her telling him i was not checking on him or calling and that i just disappeared,..my aunt told me after christmas she was visiting and she asked my dad if he had heard from me on christmas,..the gf spoke up said no she didnt even bother to call,..i sent my aunt a screen shot of my call log where i tried to call at 330 that day but it went unanswered and my message was not returned...they live 3 hours away,...so for me to check on him while he was in recovery was not gonna happen after i left and came back home,,,,she refused to allow me to call to check on him with the staff . Its not about the property to me im well off enough that was never a issues and i told my dad in the hospital that it was not fair to her to drag her along for so long i told him i didnt need or want his property. But its not good enough for her to not be threaten by the fact dad has no will and they are not married,..in this state it dont matter how long your together the state will not recognize her as anything.
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I will add one thing to my previous comment. My mom, dad and his wife all value education, so even though they trust us to make our own way, the wills are set up to first and foremost pay all student loan debt of my sister, my son and I as well as my dads wifes children from a previous marriage, which none of us has a problem with.
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How do you know that GF dragged Dad to an attorney? How do you know that he didn't initiate the visit? I don't mean "assume" I mean "know."

If Dad now has a chronic condition that he will need care for the rest of his life, there may not be anything left for any one to inherit. Then all this fussing would be pointless (as far as the financial aspect goes).

The only part of this worth working on, it seems to me, is your ability to visit him. See if you can arrange supervised visits, with some topics banned. That would be a start.

I presume you want to maintain a relationship with him whether your inherit or not.
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onlychild1969, so sorry to read you are running into roadblocks regarding seeing and talking to your Dad.

Your title "he has been living with a lady for 20 yrs refusing to marry her so I would inherit his property" doesn't make sense. One doesn't need to be married to a person to inherit assets. One can have a Will saying the sig other, the ex-wife, the next door neighbor, the guys who shovels the driveway can inherit assets. After 15 years of being together, I hope your Dad does give his girlfriend something. Saying things in a public format isn't the same as having a Will in writing.

As for the sig-other not allowing you be part of your Dad's care, if she is the Medical Power of Attorney she can do that. Is that fair? Probably not. I have spent time with a family member at the hospital and the patient needs rest, no phone calls, and there isn't not much down time to call everyone to give updates.

There needs to be team effort here, extend the olive branch, try to get on the sig-other's good side, if at all possible. Sometimes family members will get overzealous at the hospital thus causing confusion and family yelling at each other. I do volunteer work at a hospital, and once in a great while I will see Security escorting a family out of the building.

As for the "sneaking out" talk, please note that when someone who is older is in the hospital, they can get very confused, usually this happens to 90% of elders. My Dad thought he was in a hotel the whole time. So ignore this type of talk.

Hope everything works out for everyone involved.
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tacy, I was thinking the same thing. Refusing to marry the woman he lived with to make sure his daughter got everything?? Sounds like he was using the woman. onlychild, what would you have been willing to let her have for the 20 years they spent together. You must have resented her. I can understand if she bans you from visiting your father in the home where she lives, even though I don't agree with it. Are you also banned from the hospital or facilities your father is in? Will your father be competent to talk to you again one day? I hope so. Without a HIPAA form, the healthcare agencies are not at liberty to share information with you.

I wish you could work something out with his girlfriend. It sounds like there is a long history of hostility here. This happens often when a father finds a second wife. I consider that a couple living together that long are married, even without the license.
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Only Child, stop focusing on inheritance. Ask for supervised visitation and promise not to say a word about money. Old people get very upset when you even ask how much they have. Put all that aside for now; time is very short. Save the fight for AFTER the funeral.
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My dad is on his 4th wife and hes been with her 15 years which is a long time. At the time he passes, i do not expect anything since she is his spouse. The fact this woman has been there for 20 years is significant even though there is no marriage paper. I do not hold the same value as others in a piece of paper so I personally find all of this a little selfish and self serving on your part.
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also he has alot of property and they fight about him not making a will to leave it to her because hes always said it would go to me and she hates that.
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