We are friends with a couple and she, whose mother has Alzheimer's, shows a definite pattern of memory loss. Shall I talk with her?

That's kind of like talking to a person about being overweight and going on a diet. They won't want to hear about it. You can talk to this person, but don't expect a happy outcome from that conversation.

My cousin is definitely going down the dementia highway and repeats herself all the time. But she's the type of person who knows everything ANYWAY, so if I were to ever broach that subject with her, she'd have a FIT and deny it. So what's the point? Since your friend is half of a couple, leave it to her husband to bring up the subject, since he's a lot closer to her than you are.

Good luck!

One of my best friends had 2 parents who passed away from ALZ/ dementia. She asked her Dr for the test to see if she had the gene. Yes indeed she does, and she is 58. She is a worrier and going through some major life stressors right now ( front line HC worker, DD with mental / suicidal issues, GD to raise) So now every single thing that happens,, she thinks it ALZ. I think it's stress, and knowing she has the gene has made everything worse. Stress is a real memory killer.. and I do not have any plan to have that test! I have enough to worry about these days! So crazy these times are,, we are all losing it!

I need more info on a for instance or two. What are you seeing. Give me a situation. Short term memory is affected by a lot of issues, including anxiety. Stress.
IF you are seeing profound changes you can bet others closer to her are seeing the same. I would have to be a very close friend to discuss this with my friend unless I am seeing profound change.
Start keeping a bit of a short diary of things. When people do start on the path I agree they are often aware. But they can swing hard into denial because of fear.
Would love OP to give a few examples.

You are wise to tread carefully.

We noticed small things with someone but so hard to pinpoint & very easy to blame work/lifestyle factors. My DH is his blustery way just said 'Do you think you are getting Dementia?' The person admitted they had been very scared about this for 2 years, had noticed changes, seen doctors, had tests, was taking supplements, was doing all they could. DH continued with 'Well we'll put you in a home when it's time'. So that was that.

I think many people realise their problem at the start. But being ready to discuss with friends would be such a huge step.

I agree with funkygrandma- well said. Familial AD is rare but it does happen. It's noble of you to want to bring it to her attention. Does any of her other friends notice these memory issues? Is she married? Does her husband notice? Possibly having another friend who has also noticed this there with you when you see her could help. She, herself, may already be aware of some cognitive issues. You certainly could approach her about it tactfully.

Most people in the early stages of memory decline are well aware of what's going on with them, and it usually is upsetting to them, so it might be a touchy situation to bring it up to her. Perhaps you can mention it to her husband instead, and see what he says about it, and if he notices the things that you do. Then you can take it from there, and even ask him what he thinks about you mentioning it to his wife.

Sure, if you are genuinely concerned about your friend then gently and lovingly say something.

Care to share an example? Is this behavior extremely out of character for your friend?