She cares more about her dogs! - AgingCare.com

She cares more about her dogs!

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Well she has broken her wrist. Falling is nothing new however, the main cause of her ending up falling(always a fall risk first off) is taking her stupid dogs out in the middle of the night. No matter how doped up she is on her night meds she always manages to get up out of bed to take them out, I b!tch, I plead I d*mn near beg her to stop and she still does it. She has fallen plenty of times in the past so I put a bright night light in her room so she could see well it didn't help. I woke up VALENTINES DAY to find her sitting in her chair at 7am with what could only be a broken wrist ( looked like she was hiding a baseball in it!!) She has no concern for her own safety whatsoever I had to even take the chair covers off so she wouldn't get up to fiddle with them. She has even gone as far as to ask my kids for their supper for the dogs( or tried to snatch it off their plate when their not looking lol) not funny really but I'd rather laugh than cry the point is would it be cruel to get rid of her dogs(the only connection to her deceased husband unfortunately) or what? She is making very very hard for me to take proper care of her when she could care less about her own well being.im also afraid she will have a major seizure if we get rid of the dogs. Any thoughts?

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I guess I was thinking about the crates as an "out of sight-out of mind" thing. Dogs quietly snoozing away in their crates in a different room being less of a temptation than them in the same room loose to roam. Truth of it is a healthy adult dog is happy to sleep the night through without needing to go potty. Odds are is that the elderly loved one is instigating the need for the potty break at night.
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Your profile says that your mom suffers with dementia. Apparently, she's not able to use proper judgment regarding her own safety or the welfare of the dogs. You won't be able to change that. You'll need to oversee the care of the dogs and your mom's safety and welfare as well. I'd read a lot about how people who have dementia act, because, what you describe is not that unusual. People with dementia may stay up all night, pace, fiddle with clothes, linens, gadgets, etc. I'd take care to see to it that she's supervised.

I'm not sure how putting the dogs in a crate would help. If she gets the urge, she may open the crate and take them out anyway. I'd install a bed alarm, door alarm and other security to keep her safely in the house at night, but during the day as well. I'd secure the dogs as well. She certainly loves the dogs, but, you can't sacrifice their safety either.
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I have to disagree about getting a lock to keep your mother in her room at night. This is very dangerous if there is a fire, if she gets sick and needs to come to you - and it is likely illegal and at a minimum considered abuse. Trust me - I once gave the matter a lot of thought as I have a son living at home with sevear autism and he went through a phase where he was getting up at night and getting into things. I have done the baby monitor but didn't always wake when he was extra quiet so now we have an obnoxious motion alarm that goes off if he passes through his doorway. Thank God the wandering phase has mostly passed as that alarm was a less than gentle way to wake up - but it definitely did the job !

Btw - I have three dogs that are all crate trained and that's where they sleep at night - sometimes they would get into more trouble unsupervised at night than my son did!  Anyhow - I researched it and yes, it is a natural instinct for a dog to want a small somewhat confined place to sleep - it's like a den to them. As long as a crate isn't used as punishment they'll come to love it. All my dogs have cushy beds inside their "house" and voluntarily go into their crates throughout the day to nap.  A crate should be just big enough for the dog to turn around in - any bigger and they might treat the back end of the crate as a potty spot. Also, it is best to crate dogs separately- unless they are use to sleeping cuddled up together. 

Needless to say, I'm a dog lover and the thought of you taking your mothers dogs from her breaks my heart. Please try these other suggestions first!  Good luck!
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These dogs are all she has left and her love for them is overwhelming. Do NOT take the dogs away. Get a big crate for them and keep them in YOUR room. And buy some kind of gadget so you can hear if she gets up and roams. You may have to put a lock on her door. Oh, hell will break loose - for while - but it is better than some other alternatives. And it would be very cruel to rehome the dogs when they are obviously loved so much. Get tough with your mother and get that lock - good luck.
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It sounds as though she is living with you, so instead of waiting until morning to find out she has been up wandering around in the night you could invest in a device to let you know when she gets up. There are several different options such as a baby monitor, a motion activated buzzer, a mat that alarms when she gets out of bed...
An adult dog should not have to be let out through the night, so I agree crate training or keeping them in a different room from her is another good option, both she and the dogs may complain at first but it would be less drastic than the alternative.
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Take control of the dogs, let them out as needed. Placing them in a crate overnight (crate-training) they will love it, dogs think of it as their cave/bed.
They will feel more secure as their owner is less than reliable.
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Do not get rid of her dogs. If you think you've got trouble now, just wait until you take from her, her dogs which she clearly loves. Besides - if she hasn't been ruled incompetent- it's not your call.
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