My 84 year old father-in-law was left widowed 5 years ago. My mother-in-law did all the financial stuff, cooking and decision making. Father-in-law became ill with colon cancer 3 years ago and had to have part of his colon removed and use a colostomy bag. While in the hospital, we checked the house to find moldy food, expired canned food that was bulging and blown up, and a house that was in disarray and dirty. It was obvious that dad was not eating right, and unable to care for himself. Long story short, we all moved in together since other family lived out of state and he did not want to go to a nursing home or assisted living. He was fearful of taking care of the colostomy bag and wounds and wanted help. Since then he has had 2 eye surgeries, back surgery, colostomy reversal and bouts of depression. We never had an written agreements as to arrangements we made. It was all verbal. We split the household bills into per person and then we took another 100 per month for his care. Without us, he would not be able to function on his own. I guess my question is, because my husband's family is so dysfunctional and unwilling to help and I worry about the future - are they going to have a leg to stand on to even question that? Maybe I just worry too much about everyone else that quite frankly, have never gave a crap and would just as soon see him in a nursing home.