Today is a gorgeous sunny day and I would love to be outdoors with my boyfriend sharing at least a part of it. I am lucky to frequently get away on a Saturday to spend some time with him, but for a long time now that is the only time we can get together. He lives out of town but not too far.
I am single and caring for my 87 yr old widowed dad who has diabetes (for 25yrs now). I live with him. Each time he sees his doctor for his quarterly visit the doctor says all his bloodwork is good and to just keep up what he's doing to take care of himself, (which is depending totally on me.)
I am a caregiver my nature. I took care of my mom for many years before she passed. I never married and that is why the caregiver responsibilities fell upon me. Siblings are out of town. My father does not want to be left alone. He does have some dementia but somedays he seems just fine. I just get so down and depressed. I'm almost 60 and want to enjoy my latter years. My gentleman friend is a few years older than me and has medical problems but they haven't slowed him down yet. he becomes so frustrated because he wants us to spend time together. I want to because who knows what's around the corner for us. His illness could progressl at any time. I believe my father is jealous of him. I come from an ethnic backround where the women sacrifice their lives to take care of the older members of the family. My father absolutely refuses a caregiver. He has actually told me that I must sacrifice my life for him. The guilt trips are unbelievable. They truly do know how to push those buttons to make you feel sorry for them and guilty. I see my life passing before my eyes. I'm afraid I'll lose my friend either from illness or out of his frustration with me. He has been so good to me and patient. I'm wondering if other's are going through this and how do you cope? Thanks. I needed to vent.