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I put Mom in a nursing home five days ago. She'd had some occasional mild confusion at home, but often was coherent and oriented. On the day she was admitted she was lucid and coherent. The next morning when I went to see her she was totally disoriented and was hallucinating. She has not slept at night except for a few hours in the wee hours of the morning. The staff tells me it's not unusual for someone to be very confused for the first couple of weeks, that it takes that long to get acclimated. They were going to contact the dr today to go over her meds and see if he wanted to make any changes or order a sleeping pill. Does anyone have experience with this? Is this confusion and hallucinating a normal reaction to nh placement? Help!

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This is something that happened today. He told me at times he wants to hurt himself. Is this part of the disease of AD. He said but his mind told him not to. I wonder if he knew what he was saying.
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To Reba, I'm not a nurse, but a daughter and one of their Caregivers. I am worried about their vulnerabilities.
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kathyjohnson, That is what I did. My sister comes over three days a week and takes some of it off of me. I am still working 2-3 afternoons a week in our office. That gives me time away from home or what ever I want to do while she is here. I think I would have gone out of my mind by now.
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How is your mother doing now? I hope she has gotten adjust and better by now.

Is she getting used to life in a nursing home? If she is still hallucinating, have you thought about live-in care? That way a load is taken off your shoulders and you can keep an eye on her?
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These days, video survl. systems could record everything in a nursing home. Heck, if there is a questionable subject, be it visitor or patient, a simple camcorder could be set up (with elect cord plug in), and some high quality video/audio evidence compiled, one way or the other. I suppose a nursing-home wide sign saying 'Nursing Home Under Video Surveillance." Suppose there are issues of patient privacy I have not thought through.

Almost every cell phone is now a camera as well, and one could grab pertinent video moments.

as a sole caregiver, I use videos to show the level of care I provide, at least as far a quality of life. I videotaped health crises episodes as well to show to doctors, and also videos to show mom's 'normal' level of behavior. They were both helpful in recent hospitalization. I have dozens of hours of film "in the can" that I haven't edited. Sorry, I veered a bit off topic.
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ok...but there is ways you can get proof..i know is hard but instead of being accused i will half to look further if someone was blaming me i know alittle cuz my family did the same of course i had nothng to hide but the state came to dds unexpected and lord behold they found nothing which they were mislead their gonna come if this been reported regardless ...but i would call state if this nurse has been reported several time anyone can call them
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msdiva, that is good but you can't always get the proof. There isn't much you can do about it. Like I said to SecretSister, if the nurse is reported several times then there is something going on.
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SecretSister, It is hard to get past a person who shifts the blame. But if someone is always being reported, where there is smoke then look for the fire. If you are a nurse and a good one you don't have to worry. I had two nurses who were the best. But the male nurse was somthing else. Oh not saying anything about a male nurse.
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Learning a lot from your posts. Thank you,
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The accuser is a mental case that can be proven, as I have medical records both past and present of severe personality disorders and multiple diagnosis, and have personally witnessed spouse abusing spouse, with only my husband and me seeing this. Their church documented similar reports, but may not want to be involved. A sibling vacillates, holding out for inheritance. That sibling suffered abuse as well, as a helpless child. This is a nightmare! God knows the truth. Just hope the court can see it.
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if it get in a situation like that it goes under invest...everyone involved until then if you are the person they saiy you are then you will half to wait if you are the d.p.o.a. and they accused you..they will half to have strong proof....if proof is shown then thats when state steps and thats when the reall mess starts and you dnt want to go that route al all cause the state can be a b--ch about this they frown upon these situations
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What if it's my word against someone else's, and they are accusing me of what they themselves are guilty of, and people don't know who to believe? What if they can pass themselves off as "the victim," and "I want my rights," while disregarding the emotional safety and abusing and violating the rights of their own spouse, accusing offspring of being the "abuser." What a nightmare for families. How does the NH handle such situations? Thanks for your feedback. Bless you for all you've endured.
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they make note of this informed all head dept and the nursing crew uncluding us aides we half to abide by the rules..the family memeber has to be i.d. before they enter the floor this is only way we can protect the residents if something would happen the nursing and every one on that floor will be in alot of trouble i've seen this incident before and they family member took the resident out and he ended up dead...and the nursing home got find BIG TIME for neg
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msdiva, what happens when a loved one says "John shouldn't visit because he abused in the past?" What does the nursing home do with that?
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if they do not do anything in front you its because the policy says i work in a nursing home and this is the policy we are not suppose to do any thing that pertains to the resident in front of the family members and reason why because its the residents rights i know i know its bull s---t but this is what they have..we also have the hippa law and its very good for the residents and reson i see because there are family members out there that tells us for example john is not suppose to come see dad he abused him in the past things like that,, is a must policy that we half to go through...now personally i think is a crock of s---t cause i have nothing to hide i perfer the family memebers see what i do just show them i have no reason to abuse them i love taking care of the elderly in the 22 yrs i have been in nusing i have seen the worst i have turn a new york resident that was very prejudice didn't want a black person to take care of them and its because she was abused by one and i can't blame her but i gain her trust it took me 5 mons to get this woman to trust me, i have been called all the names a black person is called but it didn't bother me cause she needed care lot of the aides that was there with me told me they do not know howi took it, its called PATIENCE u ignore all that i have gotten called in the office for letting a family member go in the shower room and watch me give the love one a shower SO WHAT like i said whats the big deal they told me i couldn't do that i ask them why its their love one i have nothing to hide my boss was really pissed at me and wrote me up cause i kept doing it i didn't care i want them to see what type of care i give..and one thing i do is give good care..but i know all aides,nurses are not the same and nusing homes
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sorry veins -
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How are you going to be able to know that any one given nh is what they should be. You would have to be there 24/7. But they wouldn't do anything in front of you - like over drug a person, which they do - I don't trust any of them. Three different nh I have seen enough not to want my husband in one. I don't like taking him to the hospital. With what happened to me when I was in one of the best hospitals here when I had my heart attack. I didn't know the nurse hook up my IV. He did it when I was asleep. I got up to go to the bathroom and fell on the floor pulling the IV out, the stand it was on fell on the floor. After they got me back in bed. He threw all of his needles and what ever else was there on my bed. He slap my hand hard to get a vain up. My vains were up. I should of reported him and now I wish I had. Too much of this goes on and they do nothing about it anyway.
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I think that part of the difference between a "good nh" and a bad one is whether or not the home belongs to a corporation and is a "for profit" home. I have found that the "for profit" homes in this area seem to hire people who appear to me to be all about a paycheck. I takes special people to work in the environment found in a nh and I haven't found any such people in the 2 in my area!!
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AlzCaregiver,

That is what I am afraid of. That is why I will keep my husband as long as I can.

My sister was in one. The nurse had a bad hand. She made my sister sit in the wheel chair because it was easy for the nurse to change the dressing on her arm. My sister just got back from a treatment and was VERY tired.

They did the same thing to my husband with blood pressure meds. I found out they gave it to him. The MG may have been lower but they still did it.

Our family is not safe in a nh, I don't care what others say.
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Forgot about a few looney tunes episodes with my mom. She was in a nursing home for 5 weeks for broken hip, but it wasn't seen as end of the road, but actual recovery...and she did. However, as many times as I told anyone not to give her certain painkillers, they did, and she went looney tunes. On her chart it was written that she was allergic to these, but actually she had become addicted to them. 20 pills a day maybe, where 2 would have done it. So, watch out for those meds! Another poster mentioned street construction. We had same here, with 2 solid weeks of jackhammers right outside Mom's bedroom window, starting at 7:30 am. She woke up most mornings confused, and sometimes thinking she was in hell. It was hell, I'll agree there!
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Annlidiot, Amen
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what Alzcareagiver said about zoing out an entire level is why being sensitive to surroundings and input is so important to anyone with cognitive problems. Add meds to that and you have the makings of a nightmare. I am struck by the fact that we are seeing our own futures and should be striving to make the systems better while we fight for the best care for our parents.

I saw a difference in my mom's behavior which was stable when the construction on our street started using toxic compounds to resurface their driveway. They are fragile, and one day we might be too. Nursing homes are no panacea - if you are stressed and can't handle caring for them at home thats perfectly ok. Nursing homes are by nature imperfect and impersonal despite what the brochures say - so a vibrant sociable elder may like assisted living or having sing a longs, but I wonder if lying in a convalescant home with 24 tvs blaring up & down the halls and no visitors is not a future I want for myself, or my mom. Bless everyone who tries their hardest no matter where their loved ones are.
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AlzCaregiver, That is a good idea. It is such a awful disease. They say people are getting it left and right.
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I think if/when mom has to go into a nursing home, to be with her as much as possible for a few days until she is familiar with some of the staff and the grounds, and that she would be securing knowing I was not dumping her. A recent hospital stay in the same room as a ranting screaming deaf woman threw mom into a hallucinatory spin for one episode. And that got doctors thinking she was way down on the Alzheimer's scale. Next thing I was having talks with palliative care team. Mom did this another hospital stay with screaming roommate. Zoned out a whole Alzheimer's level.
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Annlidiot, I wondered about that. But would it cause them to act like ( the walking dead ) is what I have heard.
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Most of it is due to a syndrome called "Transfer Trauma" - it is serious and real - not in their heads. That is why nursing homes say its not unusual.....if it happens to your loved one, you should know that your understanding and being there without judgement to get them through it might help them from crashing.

Rather than explain it, anyone interested can fiind plenty of material on the subject - through google or medical sites....don't rely on the popular 'webmd' type sites..not much there.
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Nance, I took no offense, and could be wrong myself. Maybe they did stop in 1955. Hopefully they have stopped doing lobotomies. A nurse told me that this man had a lobotomy. Perhaps his was done prior to 1955. I don't know when it was done, but I questioned what was wrong with him, and they told me about his operation. I then told my family never to let his Physician near me, if something should happen to me... So, Nance, I didn't think you accused me of anything, nor did I mean to sound defensive. Now I'm curious! If that hospital still existed, and I still worked there, I'd ask more questions. Was it done, where, and when? And I'd check to see if the nurse who told me the story was teasing me or serious. So, I was just adding to the previous conversation, in fun, "thinking it was fact." I don't know if he (whoever he was) had really had a lobotomy or not. I was a young gal, just working the grave yard shift, learning how to do my job. They could have been messing with me. The man did have an operation on his forehead, though. And he was strapped to a horrid looking chair on wheels. I inquired about him out of curiosity. So scratch the last few posts. But keep me away from that man's doctor! Hope that clears things up, Nance. I was respondining to you in light spirits and humor, surely not accusations. Hope your day is blessed.
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Sister--please don't think I was calling you a lier !! I did say "I think"
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Nance, I'm not that old. The hospital I worked in was in the 80's. They strapped people into Geri chairs then, as well. I don't know if the man was depressed, but he didn't care after the procedure. I was horrified! But, back to the subject at hand...

Chemical restraints, shock therapy, physical restraints... Sometimes just a Vascular Infarct (mini stroke) can cause confusion and hallucinations. There are other causes, too. My FIL has Vascular Dementia, and hallucinates. He's been helped with medication, and seems a little better now. No longer seeing piles of ants disappearing when he goes to pick them up. No longer seeing spiders covering the ceiling, and going after them with housekeeping's brooms. No longer moving furniture and tearing out drawers to find imaginary cats in hiding. But the medication hasn't removed this 94 year old widower's desire to buy a house on ten acres, grow raspberries, marry and have children. He expects to get paid for the work he does at the NH. But even with bouts of hallucinations, he can still whip his adult son and grandchild at Checkers and put together jig saw puzzles. For both our dad's, medications absolutely helps their condition. They have been blessed.
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NANCE,
Yes, we need to give credit to the good NH and people who truly do care. Mom was in a very bad one for 2 weeks when we went on vacation. For the first week I was home since they had a 2 week minimum. Everyday, 3 times a day I was there to get things done correctly. Now I know that if we need to do a placement again, I have better choices in our area. When we move, I will have to do my homework again. But putting in the effort to do your research and not just complain is worthwhile. Not all are good, but then again, not all are bad.
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