Hi everyone. I stopped working with home health care agencies 5 1/2 years ago to help care for my father. He's gone and I'm now helping care for our mother. I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters. My closest sibling, Susan, has moved in with our mother. She being single and able to work from home is a slam dunk to helping our mother and her staying at home.
She had a bad fall earlier this month-- so this has triggered the need of informing the family and beginning of all around family communication in helping my sister and I and yes, our mother. The difficult issue is that my mother is a private person and doesn't want anyone knowing her business. UGH!
Everything has started to snowball.. meaning 2 of my brother's spouses have texted each other about my mother's fall. UGH(again).
I'm seeking out counsel about having a family meeting. This meeting is for the purpose of caring for my mother and helping out the main caregiver - my sister living with my mother. My purpose is supporting and helping my mother and sister.
I have knowledge, but am asking for guidance, simple answers ie) why my siblings spouses are not to attend the actual meeting, and your prayers.
Our elderly need best care possible while maintaining their independence and dignity- this is a monumental task when it's your own mother of 8 kids.
Much appreciated ahead of time for your personal counsel!
Also, before the meeting, we talked about no judgement about what anyone could or would do.
I could be reading this completely wrong, but it feels like when you said “agenda”, you mean your agenda.
We did not invite spouses, but that was no problem unless we were going to ask them to do something.
I am going to show my prejudices, but if you pressure your siblings to give of their time in caregiving, often it will be their spouse that does the actual work.
The attorney meeting was the best thing us siblings ever did to get a focus and advice outside of our own opinions. It brought us together as a unit instead of a bunch of individuals. We did say if someone did not come, they would not have any say in the decisions we needed to make. 5/7 came.
I highly recommend you do this.
It is like herding cats though. We range in age from 70 to 47, and are from 3 different mothers but the same father, so you can imagine the different concerns, worries.