I have a dilemma of sorts and need some advice. One of the boundaries has been to not visit face to face. I have a little PTSD from verbal and emotional abuse by my family. My mother and brother continue this abuse long after my father (the abuser) has passed. It is what they know.
My elderly uncle is coming for a visit from up north and it will be his last most likely. I love him and he knows about the dysfunction of my family. The problem is my family will expect a visit and frankly, I am not sure it will not affect me emotionally and mentally. I am sure one of them will make a catty remark and live up to their past behavior. I can't visit with my uncle without seeing them and that would be weird.
So far the not visiting my mother and brother has worked fine for me. They both grumble and complain about me not visiting my mother but they make no effort to come to my home. Mom has made no effort in 6 years to make me feel loved or welcomed after lying about me and playing favorites with my brother. Brother is just fine with it all. We were raised with much disrespect and verbal hostility and my brother seems to have taken up the same behaviors my dad exhibited.
Being around them will cause me much stress and unhappiness. The phony niceness will set my teeth on edge and the moment no one is around it will be like swimming with sharks, you never know when the bite is coming but it is coming.
I hate to miss my sweet uncle and my cousin who will be with him but I just feel I can not do this trip. I just can't. And I feel very guilty for it. What should I do?