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she has delusions that her dreams are real. the neuro prescibed zyproxen! Seroqui. Seroquil messed her up 12.5 mg she weighs 225 lbs now zyproxen makes her gain weight I wigh 115I am her primary caretaker 24/7 no relieve no help no vacations.She has become aggessive and mean she has not been properly diagnosed department of children and families in now involved because she soved our 5 yr old grand son down on the floor. we have custody of 5 grandchildren for 5 years . when she is acting out she has no recall . my father and her were in a very serious car accident which killed my father and mom sustained a serioud frontal head injury.I believe she has LBD she has chf/kidney disease/a fractured back from a fall 10/15

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I've learned so much from this board. Although it may seem like just a sounding board for our gripes and frustrations and grief sometimes...it has saved my sanity! I need to hear and know all the little things (like food-fits) to realize and remember it is not just me or my Mom that seems nuts! Theselittlecommonalities make me realize and remember to be more kind and accepting to me Mom and myself. I really see a difference now that I'm learning "it's better to be kind than right". I put that on a sticky note and placed it on my mirror.
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Statbill I think if you look back on her life she will have traits that whilst much milder are indicative of the exaggeration you see today.

Mum was a bank manager at a time when women weren't so her road was hard nosed and when she wanted something doing her staff did it - immediately. But she picked holes in her day to day l;if work and home as long as I could remember - I got 98% in a test and she stopped my pocket money because I didn't get 100% - that sort of thing. Of course over time she didn't have to beat me up (not in physical terms) I could do that very nicely for myself - learned behaviour is damned hard to break let me tell you

Yet when we went out my mum would have whatever everyone else had if we went to a restaurant. She was incapable of choosing for herself - ALWAYS. If we had steak she would, if we changed our minds and selected scampi she changed her mind. She absolutely HAD to have the same. If I eat exactly the sort of food she does she will eat it - she will complain - she always has but nowadays much more vociferously as if the control knob is broken.

I don't ask her to choose these days because it is pointless, (well not strictly true I still ask but end up choosing myself since she always says whatever you're having - not that she means that but it is what she says) but I do like variety and she just doesn't....... I love British food but I do like French cuisine, Italian, Chinese, Spanish, Indian, West Indian foods too as well as hot dogs, burgers now and then and KFC which I have to ashamedly say is a serious weakness. I love broccoli she hates it, I like beans she hates them in any format. So unless I lose my entire identity by conforming to her food choices we have a battle on our hands.

She is absolutely self centred when it comes to her needs what she wants and she always wants it NOW. If it isn't forthcoming immediately then she can turn difficult beyond belief or attempt to do it herself, end up on the floor and then tell me it was my fault for not getting it for her....erm hello I only have one pair of hands and when I have them covered in flour you have to wait. Or not as the case may be!!!!!!

In all honesty while it DOES feel like her little tricks I DO think it is the dementia and the scariness of losing control bit by bit that leaves them desperate to find ways that they still have control over and irritating us does just seem to fit the bill - I assure they don't intentionally do so although on a bad day would deny having ever said any of this!!!!!
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This is going back to pheonix's comment about our moms being related! YEs, what is up with the food preferences...changing every damn day...usually after I've just stocked up on her favorites...whoops doesn't like it today...and mad that I gave it to her! Argh, hard to not get irritated, I'll say! Is this something to do with memory loss or just her little tricks?
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You might want to check these side effects! hello If it were me I would get her some Melatonin and start over, things sure aren't going good with that stuff.
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dear curdburns...wow...such a sad post...i have nothing to add, but sooooo sorrry for everything that is going on. i sure hope you find some help!!!! keep us posted. thank you
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Soma and Adderall are strong meds that should be used with caution for elders.
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I give mum donepezil in the morning or she is worse than usual (Aricept to you in US) I swear all our mothers are related in some way (other than dementia!) Mine does her level best (and considering her age it is a skill she has learned and is ingrained into her) to just irritate me. She does like thin bread she doesn't like thin bread; she likes chinese food, she doesn't like the same damned chinese food; she likes toast, she doesn't like toast, she likes one cereal then doesn't!
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I gave my mother Soma. It's a muscle relaxer that knocked her out at night. It was prescribed for her by her neurologist at my request. It mostly worked to knock her on her butt for the entire night. That is unless she had a UTI, then all bets are off. Snakes crawl out of the walls, aliens are plotting etc. If you don't want to place your mother in a nursing facility or if it will cost you every dime of your inheritance, give her a strong sedative at night. When Mother was in the hospital they gave her Atterol. It knocked her out.
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Yes it is a mess. I feel better today, guess nights are hardest...darkest before the dawn...yet the dawn brings dread of the night again. To what lengths do we go to still be the "dutiful daughter". Even when my mother thinks I'm trying to kill her? BY the way, to be clear...I am not trying to kill her! Re reading my post it left room for doubt. LOL
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Seraquel causes all of the above. Depakote was my guardian angel, e er 6 montha i weaned her diwn and within days the anger and aggitation was back. By 2 years she was off it. I occasiinal 1.5-3mg melatonin at night if needed
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Statbill, I can relate. My mother who spent most of my childhood being as mean and hatefulas she could be to me. To this day I do not know why, She doesn't deny being that way toward me, she just won't tell me why. Now she is in a nursing home and my dad has severe dementia and lives with me. I take my dad to see her every 3rd day even though he doesn't know who she is. She is still as mean and hateful as always...even though I guess I've had somewhat of a reprieve because she hasn't spoken to me in over a month, why I don't know. So, I take care of a man that doesn't know who I am half the time, and take him to visit a woman he can't remember, who is the same woman that gets some kind of perverse pleasure in emotionally abusing me when she sees me. What a mess.
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Stabill: I'm praying for you. We all have similar situations. Mine was that I had to leave my Maryland home (sure I had a life-was not just sitting around with feet up), but I had to move to Massachusetts because my mother was adamant about living alone!
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Good Lord please help us all! So many of us in the same untenable situations. I come here usually feeling desperate and I find most of us are just that...desperate. I haven't slept for the last few nights as my 92 yr old Mom is disoriented, scared, confused, bitter and paranoid in the nights lately. I try to talk her down, sustain the abuse and thanklessness for giving up my life (I'm 24/7 like many of you) and end up in tears when I finally throw myself on the bed. All alone in this, my nightmare, caring for a woman who has been mean to me my whole life. So I come here for solace. Thank you all for that. Tonight mom told me she's scared cause she's gonna die and she knows how...it's not her multitude of diseases, no, it's ME! I'm going to kill her! Cause I can't wait for her to die to get her house and money. Listen, her house and modest investments are gonna be spent on nursing home, I'm just trying to delay the inevitable. Forget that I had to take early teacher retirement to nurse her and my own future is in jeopardy. IF I'm honest, I do hope I can at least inherit her modest home...that it won't have to be sold to pay for nursing home, that is why I am now doing the hardest job I ever imagined...the job we are all doing. It may not be worth it. I want to try to go back to work and have my own (rented) home. But putting her in nursing home .... She would think I put her in a home to steal her money or something. I don't have a thick skin, I never could ignore her meanness. IT hurts deeply to think my own mother would think that of me. I see now why there are many long posts written here...we need to vent...we are desperate! Lord help us all.
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Seroquel should be used to calm an elder down at night-thus, a sleep aide.
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Get her off that crap, its awful for some people, makes them hyper crazy
Ask the doctor if she can have depakote sprinkles, its wonderful and you dont have to place your mom
She will be real tired at first but it will level off in a few weeks. Good luck
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I agree, its time to place your Mom in a nursing facility. First because she out weighs you. Your going to hurt yourself. Second, you have enough on your plate with five grandchildren. You can't o it all.
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Sorry but before you make that decision to put her somewhere, you really need to find a doctor that will adjust her meds. My mother also went through a period of being violent although it was just me and she would hit, throw things and say ugly things. Her doctor reduced the dosage of Aricept, added Namenda and a very mild dose of Seroguel. She did a complete turnaround. Eventually her new doctor took her off Seroquel because if you research it, seniors really shouldn't take it. We decided to try Melotonin at night and it works just as well.. She sleeps all night. no nightmares and she is back to her pleasant self. Also, if your mom is on Aricept (Donepezil) try giving her that in the morning. Based on adjusting her meds it seemed like the Aricept was giving my mom bad dreams and not allowing her to sleep well at night. Lowering the dose and giving it to her in the morning seems to help a lot.
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that seems to be the trend with a lot of these people, they've always been that way but it's amplified 100 %. With my MIL I know she's always been mean but it seems to be so much worse now. It amazes me how she can't remember simple things like what to do with toothpaste or how to open a bottle of water but can remember every argument we have ever have over the last 25 years.
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My Mom is 97 with dementia. Mom was on seriquel for sometime with the same issue horrible hallucinations. I took her off the medication....and no more problems. Detrol is another med that can cause hallucinations....the Dr means well when prescribing...but in the long run ...you the provider...are more in touch with how meds are working with an individual.
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You just reminded me of something that happened to me during my own childhood when my abusive mom shoved me down on the floor when I was very young and very small. I'm kind of wondering as an abuse survivor myself if your mom was even like that before the accident, or was it since the accident she became abusive? I just have to ask because something here reminded me of my very early childhood when the same thing happened to me around that age
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Have her checked for a UTI (urinary tract infection) This behavior is typical. My mother suffered with this off and on for a couple of years before she died. Get a culture to see which antibiotic will be effective. Mother's system built up a resistance to the antibiotic. Also be careful about the Cepro drug family, it can cause hallucinations as well, even though it is very effective for treating UTI.
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My MIL whom I care for 24 / 7 also has these issues. Her issues are Alzheimer's / Dementia. We have had to change her medications often, some she think are "sugar pills' others are much to strong and there again we have had to remove all her meds and give them to her as prescribed because do to her illness' she either does what she wants or simply reads it wrong like it says every 6 hours so she takes 6 pills........ some of which will kill her or leave her like a vegetable..........Talk to the Doc and let him know how she behaves but also try to see things thru HER eyes.. Like with my MIL I as a retired nurse have seen this too often and many times have admitted I can not do it alone. Other than my hubby we have no help although help lives less than 5 miles away... anyway... She is like a 2 yr old that can not be taught however till set in her ways. MIL has sundowners as well and is a royal pain in the .. after 6 pm, when she naps in the day she wakes up thinking its morning and time to start the day ( again ). Take each day as it comes, enjoy the good days even if they are few and far between and Bless your heart for what your doing, Karma is looking back at ya and will return it 10 fold. Again, try to put your self in her shoes, how would you react to the hand dealt you?
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If Seroquel is a a sedative with multiple uses for multiple purposes, including a sleep aid. This specific medicine should only be taken at bedtime because it will put you to sleep. I occasionally use it as a sleep aid, and you can sleep for up to 12 hours under sedation, but you can feel like a zombie for the next 12 hours. I don't know what time the patient is taking this pill, but have them take it at bedtime because you only have a short time between a few minutes and up to no more than an hour before it kicks and knocks you out like a light!

It may not be safe to navigate through the house when you must wake up in the night to use the bathroom because you are extremely groggy under Seroquel, and navigating on foot under sedation is definitely not safe. What I do before taking the pill at bedtime to help me sleep is have a power chair handy by the bed. That way, I don't risk being unsteady on my feet and falling due to sedation. Another alternative would be to keep a bedside toilet for the patient to use and everything they need such as moist wipes to clean their hands. Seroquel is a very strong sedative that should not be used at any other time but bedtime. If you read the bottle, you will see that it causes drowsiness. It says not to drive or operate dangerous machinery, but if using a power chair, dial the speed all the way down to a low setting to keep the patient safe while navigating to and from the bathroom while under sedation.
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See the doc and try to get her meds redialed. Very sorry for your situation. May God send extra help to you.
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Is she taking Zyprexa or Seroquel? They are not the same. Is she taking both? You need to see her doc, whatever she is taking is not working for her. Meds are often a matter of trial and error to find what will work.
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What a very, very sad situation. My heart goes out to you.

Mom needs to be in an appropriate care center. She is now beyond a status that can be cared for in a private home. I am so sorry. I can understand why you want to care for her personally, but that is just not feasible. If her needs are being met in a care center, then you can visit her as the loving daughter.
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Let the state take custody. She cannot be around children.
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