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Father still lives in his home with a non-relative caregiver (nurse). The caregiver has complete control over his life and he has no contact with any of his children - will not answer the phone or anything. She has been with him for 4+ years and the controlling is just getting worse and worse. She threatens him with leaving him and has him convinced that his children just want him in a nursing home and his money. We don't want that but think an assisted living center would be the best place for him. We have tried Social Services but they say it's his choice and there is nothing we can do. Lately, he has been in the hospital for a couple of long stays and we were not notified because he doesn't want us to know - thinks we will make a scene with his caregiver at the hospital or put him in nursing home. Any suggestions? Anyone else ever have this problem? He is so in love with her (my mother died 2 years ago) that all he wants is his caregiver. He is missing out seeing his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Just breaks my heart but what can I do?

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If your father is mentally sound and has not been declared incompetent, then it is his choice and there is nothing you can do about it, I feel for you but he doesn't need assistant living if he has a live in caretaker, now if you think he is mentally unstable, contact his doctor, if he is diagnosed with dementia, you can take it into court and have him declared incompetent and you would be declared his power of attoreny, then you could fire the live in care and do what you think is best for your father, hope this helps
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sorry to tell you this but as long as ur dad is sound mind there is nothing you can do but i would go visit him as much as possible so you can get a feel of things then you will have a leg to stand on..i just went through this with a client tha has a live in caregiver and she was a bitch..he has one gr daughter and both of his kids are gone his wife passed a yr ago and the care giver was there ..i use to slip the gr daughter over when she went out i know wasn't supppose to do that but she be lying to her on the ph so i finally got in touch with her so she could see her gr father its a shame how non relative takes over and it should be a law about that..
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If it's at all possible for a physician to intervene or for a family member to get power of attorney do so. Also,contact an eldercare attorney to see if anything can be done. It is possible that you may not be able to do anything but a legal specialist can guide you.
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