Mom will not go to doctor, she has a bad hip, fractured hand. I need proper paperwork for her to go to a nursing home, i have guardienship. I s there any other way to place her in a nursing home without the doctor seeing her?

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To alwayslearning CLARIFICATION apparently my statement unequivocally has been miss Interpreted
according to your “opinion as being harshly”. I’m NOT asking nor saying I HAVE ANY “GREEN LIGHT”!!
“NOR AM I MAKING JUDGMENT” that is your assumption! I repeatedly stated “I’m not in your shoes”!!
I have a very “STRONG OPINION” based upon firsthand knowledge,
from what I have “seen” the majority of child/caregivers of parents,
with the final outcome of placement in nursing homes. I have seen
residents in nursing homes, who NEVER receive any FAMILY visits,
after they are permanently placed there.
The caregivers/staff become their “sergeant family”.!!
So in essence, yes in my opinion the elderly, ARE “thrown away”.
Yes your correct I don’t know that ava1961, Mother has always been there for her,
my mistake, it was an presumption & assumption. Based on majority of “NATURAL MOTHERHOOD
NURTURING” There are NO intention’s, of “Guilt-tripping anyone”!! that’s your opinion.
Like I said, I have not walked in her shoes.!
Nor have you looked thru my eyes and seen what I have seen, on a broader scale!
I don’t “sugar coat anything” or “beat around bush” etc. I say the truth, I say the reality,
based on my experience, & knowledge.
You may not like what I have to say, you may not want to hear what I have to say,
which is perfectly fine. I say what it is no more no less.!
It is strictly an individual’s “CHOICE” what that individual “CHOOSES” to do with what I said.
accept it, decline it, or think about it,!
it was NEVER stated “I had the solution to the problem,”
nor was it stated, “you “HAVE” to accept anything I stated”.
The topic began, [What do you do when….] asking for others to sates “THEIR OPINION’S / EXPERIENCE/ADVISE”
We ALL have opinions, which is great to express. I thank you for expressing your.
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Whoa, "stop and think it through" applies to everyone -- including to you, vc345vc355. It's all well and good to admit that you're not in ava1961's shoes and have strong opinions... but then you seem to feel that making those disclaimers gives you the green light to express some pretty horrible judgments and accusations against the person you are supposedly writing to support. You imply that ava1961 "wants an easy out" and is joining those who "throw away" their parents into nursing homes. You also don't know that "Your Mother has always been there" for her. Guilt-tripping anyone is not a good way to help them make a good decision.
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I’m not in your shoes. Apparently your Mom has had it deep seeded, prior to her getting
Older and prior to you Receiving Guardianship, she does not wish to go to any nursing home.
To me it sounds like there is more involved. Perhaps there is a mother daughter dysfunctional
relationship. Like I said I’m not in your shoes! But what I can tell you is there are “SOME EXCELLENT
NURSING HOMES OUT THERE” and there are “A LOT OF NIGHTMARE NURSING HOMES OUT THERE TOO.!” I have worked in some. The HORROR stories you hear, are TRUE!! I am not in favor of nursing homes. If you’re final decision and outcome is a nursing home, I STRONGLY Advise that you are hands on advocate for your Mom that you VISIT DAILY and CONSISTENTLY! Be prepared for your Mother condition to decline RAPIDLY. Be prepared that she WILL be SEDATED DAILY.
It seems as though you took on the responsibility of Guardianship, and now want an easy out.
It also sound like you are the primary care giver, that you’re stressed out. There are other alternatives you should look into before you place your Mom in a nursing home. You can privately hire caregivers to give you some time off. There is also respite care for you, so to get a break. Sounds like you need one.
Please proceed with caution, slow down, weigh the good and bad. MOSTLY THINK ABOUT YOUR MOTHER! Would you want your children, or siblings doing the same to you? Your Mother has always been there for you now it’s your turn to be there for her. Again I’m not in your shoes. I have a very strong opinion about this, and why parent’s are thrown away into nursing homes. Yes I clearly understand every situation and condition is different. So just how bad is it that you do not want to care
For your Mother? Stop think it through.
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Why not try having someone come into your home to help care for her? The social worker can help direct you to an agency or you can hire outright. I'm not a fan of most nursing homes and most of the residents are not happy there. Much stealing occurs for one and they don't have the time to give proper help and care. Maybe a senior living situation may be a good alternate for they are private if you don't like the idea of bringing in someone. Your mom doesn't sound like she is in too bad of shape. I've seen some nice senior apts where they have fellowship rooms withing the building..
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Find out, compassionately, what she's afraid of. Whether it's rational or not, it's what she's feeling and what she's feeling is part of the situation you're dealing with. If you don't understand it you're operating in the dark. Again, you can understand it without its being "reasonable." It is what it is.
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You are not likely to find a NH to take your mom without the physical. It's a state law that one be performed before any new patients are accepted. For one, it's would be a huge liability. Secondly, nurses follow MD orders. These orders come from this form initially. Social workers are really great about helping out with odd situations. I'd call the NH you plan on placing your mom, and ask to speak with the social worker. Let them know what's going on. You may also want to call your mom's doctor and see if there is anyway a house call could be arranged or a medication could be given to help with agitation so that she can go to the doctor.
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