What can I do or should I do with my foster mother?

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Hi... I have a problem w/ a foster mother or "mother" when she's in my presence or I am in her's. (She hates me calling her foster or non real mother, but whatever). She is about 66 or 67 years old. She had a car run over accident that caused her pelvic to be broken/injured and had surgery. This was in Jan. of this year, around the 27th of Jan. to be exact.

So after a while of being in the hospital for about 3 weeks or so, she goes/transfers to a rehab/nursing caring home center. She stays there for about 4 months. From February to April to be exact. She receive rehab therapy and exercises. Which thankfully eventually made her be able to at least stand up again on her own by holding on onto things. She gets released back home on around April 4th. Well she gets rehab/therapy treatment at home 3 times a week for about 2 months. Everything is great and her exercises routine by the home therapists is improving her mobility by her legs. Sadly after about less than 2 months, near the middle of March or close to the end, the at home service therapists decides she is ready for outside therapy and no longer requires the at home service.

Shortly after she has a doctor's appointment w/ the one associated with her surgery originally on her pelvic. Guess she is supervising her recovery progress. This is around June. But I noticed she stopped doing real exercises shortly after she no longer had at home therapy rehab. I did/do my job of reminding her to do them, but she never did/does them.

Anyway to fast forward the doctor was not pleased w/ her progress on June. Guess she was expecting her to be walking w/ a cane by then. I pretty much knew why. She stopped doing exercises pretty much. So she gave her a prescription for outside rehab for 6 more weeks.

It is now December 2012...Around 8 months since her release back home. Guess what her condition is? Still mostly a outside wheel chair lady. Only walks inside the house a bit. I tried finding her a outside rehab center to get her in good walking condition by them making sure she exercises like she's suppose to. But she has kind of threaten me and does not want more bills or expanses. Although she is receiving medical state financial aid to pay.

Let me explain her ahem (excuse my language) stupid everyday routine. Get up, worry about what to cook, worry about grocery shopping if something is missing for cooking idea of the day or possible next day. If I am home, she kind of begs me or demands I take her to the market or nearby by wheel chair to shop. She comes back after I am a bit exhausted pushing her by wheel chair. She just pretty much cooks, cleans something a bit, or just finds stupid crap on the house to do that is not really needed. Like change curtains still clean, or put ornaments seasonal, like it's really important. There is no exercises what so ever any day I swear. The only exercise of her's if anything is standing up a lot while cooking. If it even counts. Everyday near night she complains she's in pain. And her progress never changes because of that.

I am frustrated at how 8 months have past since her home release and not much recovery progress has happen because of obvious lazyness on her side despite me reminding her of she needs to do real exercises. Not fool around only cooking and standing.

I am beginning to think she doesn't wanna put effort into walking normal again because she wants to keep taking advantage of people like me to always drag her by wheel chair and such or do favors/help/assist... I can't enjoy myself anymore because I am like her arm or leg 24/7 mostly. She has her husband and real older son, yet she mostly bother's me. I work part time at home for a seasonal job forefilling online orders and shipments. She doesn't understand I have my own life and I need time for myself and to see how I can find happiness or excitement a bit.

She also has problems affecting me and the other's in a big way. For example she is often a insomnia person. She can't sleep at night and she wakes up, makes noises and causes other like me not to sleep well.

I am at the verge of just finding a full time job and not having to worry about this woman anymore. I can just work, eat, sleep. Because she just doesn't show signs of her caring for herself or recovering to be able to walk on her own. Such a disgrace with her mind and thinking..

I need advise of what can I do to help her understand to change her bullshit ways and start worrying about herself and recovery. Not worry about stupid crap like cooking, house cleaning, or grocery items for a while or much. Her priority and concern should be her recovery again. Should I get a medical psychologists to come over the house for a few days/weeks and maybe finally persuade her to make her recovery her main concern and take rehab /exercises serious again?

I'm gonna lose my mind and sanity if this keeps up w/ the bs I have to put up w/ her and depression, especially w/ no signs of her caring for her recov

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It does sound like she's depressed, I'd suggest that you try to get a psychologist to talk with her whether one comes to the home or not. Keeping up with physical therapy on your own, when there's no therapist to push you forward is very difficult. Many people have trouble with that. Please do get some outside help for her sake and yours. This isn't a good situation for either of you.
Take care,
Carol
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