My father who will be 87, on Jan. 15th is independent BUT, worrisome for my oldest sister and I. He has Glaucoma, Arthritis, don't hear too well, and do things he's not suppose to! And he has a pacemaker!! I'm thankful it has not been a heavy snow, because he will try to shovel it!! He flooded our boiler 2x and this last time was just after the plumber was called to clean it and light it PROPERLY. AND I MEAN LITERALLY. We went w/o heat after Xmas when he called the plumber and the NEXT day (last Friday) he flooded it again. Then, his PRIDE gets in the way AND INSIST ON LIGHTING IT WITH KNIT GLOVES ON!! YOU READ CORRECTLY - KNIT GLOVES. He called again and Thank God - the heat was once again restored. My sister helps a Whole lot taking him grocery shopping, picking up his medication But she doesn't Live with him I Do. And everyday - I work my schedule around him because I don't know what he may plan and tell me the last minute. He's always trying to do something he knows little about(like the boiler) and reluctant to call for help until he gets too frustrated and my sister and I act as a Tag Team to make him do the right thing!! I'm watching him fight for his independence but, it's stressful!! We've became a tag team after my mother passed to accompany him to the doctor because he does not discuss what's going on with him. Here's an example: He would stop his meds just so he can drink. Not wine - Overproof bourbon straight! I accompainied him to his cardiologist and asked - by the way doctor is it alright for alcohol? My father looked up at the ceiling. The doctor replied, in moderation, and watered down. Oh? I replied, even if it's Overproof Bourbon? The doctors face turned Beet Red and replied, Mr. H, slow it down - in fact stop Completely. I know my father is still in the grieving process with the passing of my mother but, now after loosing both his siblings last year, his more emotional and short tempered. He feels my sister and I are always "ganging up on him". Is there anyone here who can relate to these scenerios?
The note from ba8alou recommending assessment is a good idea. Check for help agencies in your area. Your dad has lost many persons close to him recently and of course this is painful, but he needs to find a useful outlet to deal with grief, frustration, anger(?)