My mother has incontinence. How can I convince her to wear pull-ups? - AgingCare.com

My mother has incontinence. How can I convince her to wear pull-ups?

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I care for my mom, she wears pads, the problem is she wont get up to go the bathroom till it is just to late, then she pees on the floor all the way to the bathroom, some times I think she is so into the tv she wont get up and go, which she is capable of doing. I am the one who mops the floor every day. Then if she has diarrhea it is even worse for me... I tried to explain it is not sanitary or fair to expect me to mop and clean every day. but she refuses to wear pull ups, How do I transition her to pull ups.

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yes my mom dresses herself. and is capable of caring for herself. but i must add when she wants too. she will cook for herself,but won't do any clean up, when she peers all over she knows i will clean up.she is like a child. she thinks she gets away with stuff. it is hard. i lose my patients sometimes. she will leave food out for hours. now so she can avoid pads she hides some of her accidents number 2, then i find it. after i work all day it is hard to be patient. but i bite my tongue. i will keep tryin to get her to wear pads, but she resists. thank all of u for the help and ideas.......i truly appreciate it.
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My MIL is 92 and has recurrent UTI's and cannot often control her bowels as well as her bladder. She is very CHEAP. Therein was the issue. She did not like to spend the money on pull ups because the pads were cheaper. (She also cut her meds in half for the same reason, which was one of the determining factors in compelling her into the nursing home (after AL couldn't handle her needs).
When she visited us a few years back I bought the necessary undergarments and was cheerful yet left her no (no pun intended) "wiggle room". There was an element of things being just like it used to be with willful, little kids but I treated her with respect along with being firm. I told her that she 'had' to wear these pull ups in our home (she was with us for a month) and that I was sure she would feel better not having embarassing accidents. After we got her to go along with it, I supported the idea telling her that I knew she must be feeling better and more comfortable. She agreed and voiced her concern about the cost. She also had asked me when she arrived to "tell her when I stink". Her sense of smell is totally gone, which is not uncommon for very old folks, so she couldn't tell that she smelled bad! I just said "I love you and I won't ever tell you that. So we are going to get you a bath every day and help you keep clean and it won't be an issue". My husband and I put on our swimsuits daily, he held her while I undressed her and bathed her. We were careful to respect her and not offend her dignity and often that was with a sense of humor. I tried to care for her as I would want to be cared for and she responded.
I like above's idea about the doctor saying it has to happen. There is an element of rebellious childlike behavior here, so that has to be dealt with along with showing respect due our elders. It is a fine line we walk!
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I had the same problem with my Mom....pad/panties were no longer working, so one day all her panties disappeared...and pull-ups appeared, along with her pads. We told her the Dr. didn't want her to get a UTI and that the Dr. wanted her to wear the pull ups now, to keep her dryer....Since it was the "Dr's" idea, she was ok with it.
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justawhim.......I bought Mom several different kinds along with pads and let her make the decision. You can start with trying the light period pads and explain that they might buy her some additional time between bathroom trips. gradually go up in pad size and perhaps with time she will see feel the need to go to the disposable. I love lijoma62 last sentence.
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Justawhim....Is she able to dress herself? Does she choose her own clothes to wear in the morning? What if you replace her regular underpants and ONLY leave the disposable ones? My mom who is 96 wears the disposable pants WITH a pad lining adheared..her solution to when she leaks...it is easier for her to dispose the pad. She didn't like the disposable pants at first because they felt bulky and were kind of big on her. She decided to wear a light girdle over the pants making it more comfortable for her. Now I'm trying to get her to put the used wet pads into a plastic bag before throwing it in the garbage. PU! Sometimes the ammonia smell in the bathroom makes my eyes tear! Not only does my mom wear the disposable pants, we finally got my dad to wear them. We took away his regular underpants as well. There were plenty of complaints from them both at first, but eventually they relented! He has dementia and is now on nemenda (sp?) It has helped him respond to his bodily functions..get up and go into the bathroom. Unfortunately, he misses the toilet, steps in it then tracks it around the house. So, I absolutely know what you mean when you say you are constantly mopping! It is so difficult and unnerving having to deal with all of this. Their sense of smell isn't as acute as it once was and they became accustomed to the smell! When I do take my parents out....stay awhile outside with fresh air...then go back in they tend to be more aware of the smell! Hard to say what works...it's just such a common, unfortunate reality with our elderly parents. Good luck...have fortitude/patience and continue to love her..after all, there will come a time when you won't have to worry about it, unfortunately!
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I am well and truly trying to think of a good solution to your problem. The thing is, while I was thinking about it, the thought "rub their nose in it" popped into my head, and that started a giggling fit. Now it won't go away. I apologize, I know it's not funny. I hate to say this, because it sounds wrong, but you may have to use blackmail or shame. By that, I mean "If you don't start wearing these, I won't clean/do your laundry any more." Or, "Wear these, or I'm going to hang your pee soaked sheets out on the line for the neighbors to see." I really don't have any good suggestions that don't sound awful. What makes it hard is that we, as caregivers, try to help them maintain their dignity. However, they have to do their part. I guess it all boils down to "help me to help you." Maybe that's the talk you should have.
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I am in the same situation only with my dad. He refuses to wear them and the same thing happens. Now he will not leave the house. Would love to hear some answers too.
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