My father, who is 90 and has Alzheimer's (early to mid stages), is telling any one who will listen that he doesn't trust me with the money, that I have taken the car (it is locked in the garage, the State of FL revoked his license) and forgets on items that were sold with his blessing and states that I did it without his knowledge. Also tells me that I withdrew funds from an investment account that I could not possibly have done without his blessing and signature. That was confirmed by the people at brokerage house but they still treat me with distain.

I understand a lot of this is part of the disease, which most people are aware he has. What I don't get is that so many people are believing him, including family members.

I am taking care of him myself with very little help from anyone.

On his own, he revoked my portion or the whole POA that was shared between my uncle and myself. If my uncle is still a POA he wants nothing to do with making decisions on behalf of my father.

His attorney, who he did not consult with before doing this says it is legal. She and her paralegal also treat me with distain.

I don't really care about that at this time but what I want to know is how to get people to realize his accusations are either false or greatly exaggerated? How do I get people on both our sides not just his?

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Some professionals have an aloof attitude that may appear to be disdain but is freely distributed to all their clients and should not be taken personally.

I'd be more concerned about family members. Perhaps it would help to find an article about paranoia and false accusations in dementia patients and send it to family. Anyone who really understands the nature of dementia would not take your mother's claims at face value.
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Dear Stressed,

I know what you went through. I had to take care my mother for the last 30 years. She developed Alzheimer disease when she was 90. It was extremely difficult. She had the same behavior just like you described of your father. My biggest enemies are those people who knew nothing about Alzheimer but pretent to act as good Samaritans.

I can not remember how many times adult protection agents, police, neighbors, had accused me of mistreating my mother. I took several courses on how to take care of people with Alzheimer disease and attended many caregivers meetings. But, I received little help from Alzheimer Association, and many senior support and education organizations. My mother finally passed away 3 years ago at 95. Now, looking back, folowing are my suggestions:

1. Ask your mother's doctors for advise.
2. Talk with attorneys who are specialized with seniors with Alzheimer disease and ask the attorney how to handle this situation and false accusations. I can not stress how important this is. Your trouble just started. Don't waite to what had happened to me. People closed to me or my mother knew I was a devoted son and I gave my mother the best love and care. But, I was investigate by police and adult protection agencies because my mother or some strangers called them accusing me of mistreated her or prevented her to do some stupid things that could put her in danger. When she was hospitalized. Because she could not protect herself, she was abused by medical personnel in the hospital. When I protested, I was falsely accused by medical staff and was arrested. The hospital has tons of money and influences. As the result, I was arrested and falsely charged. My mother was eventully abused to death at the hospital. I pleaded to many adult protection agencies, public elected officials, state health department, etc. As soon as they learned she was in hospital's care, no one stepped in to protect my mother. The state health department sent a registered nurse observed the abuse. They gave hospital warning, but took no action. Because they do not want to offend the hospitals or medical industry. You better prepare to deal with all these troubles. You will find out our legal system is so weak to protect seniors.

The reason I am telling you this is not trying to scare you, but let you know this can happened to you. Even facing all these obstracles, I still gave my mother the best love and care to the end. I ruined my own health. I was stressed out. I had two heart attacks and numerous health issues even I live a clean live.

Another suggestion is please talk to your family, friends, and anyone that may help or understand you. Do not hide the situation. Ask for help as much as you can. Not everyone will be understandable or willing to help. But, do not let this to discourage you. You will need every ounce of them. I hope I can be more help. Good luck.

Being there.
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Thank you so much OctoberOhio5! Great woman and a great quote! I'll remember that!
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To paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt.....nobody can treat you with distain without your permission.
You know you are doing the right thing so don't let the ignorance of others get you down.
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