Anyone have a very old senior who still thinks they can drive their car? - AgingCare.com

Anyone have a very old senior who still thinks they can drive their car?

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My 94 year old mother still drives... SHORT distances and always in the daytime and along known routes. However, she just told me about having to pay a huge car insurance payment... and that's because she hit a mail box and later a garbage can, in the past two years... and notified her insurance about repairs, etc. So, of course, they JACKED up the cost of her insurance. But that's not my question... it's... have any of you had a senior who drives get into a more serious or problematic accident involving another car and driver... and what happens? What are the possible ramifications legally, financially, etc. etc. (P.S. I fear that the ONLY way my mother will give up driving her car is WHEN she has a more serious accident... and oh... oh.. what if someone else is hurt? I can handle her getting hurt, as in I know only a crisis will EVER get my extremely strong-willed mother to make any changes... However, if she's the cause of another person being hurt... I don't know what that would mean to her financially. And believe me, I would NEVER allow MYSELF to be in the same situation, where what I want would jeopardize other's welfare... But my mother is nothing like me.. Everything is always about HER and what SHE wants and HOW she wants it... *sigh*) - Thank you for any insight you might have... = Suzi

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Lawyer told me that if there was any chance of parents causing accident that they could be sued and there would be absolutely nothing left to help take care of them. One parent gladly gave up keys, but the other put up a fight. I took the keys - I do not regret it. Their doctor DID tell them that they should not be on the road and that he did not want to have to go to court to testify against them. Siblings did not agree since they live in dream world - tough!
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I'm soooo sorry for all of this you're going through, Marymember.... Bless you... and I think you CAN go to bed.. for tonight... XOXO
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I am going through this problem with my husband. Right now he has been told the truck didn't pass inspection, when in reality that is partly true, but also the mechanic at the dealership where we bought the pickup is going to tell my daughter how to unable the engine so that it won't start. Also, one can have the key unabled, too. It is so frustrating, and makes me almost sick. I am so depressed over all this that I want to go to bed. But I can't, so am going to have to do what is best. He will have to take a driving test through a neurology portion of a hospital, where his license will be taken away. marymember
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May, 2015 update... I hate to tell you folks... but my mother will be 95 in two months... and she still drives short distances. She has what is called "Borderline Personality Disorder", unbeknownst to her, of course. I.e., there is NOTHING any of us can do to control her behavior in any area of her life and, it's always been that way. HOWEVER, she has become aware of her frailty, FINALLY, and IS afraid of making mistakes, so she is only driving a few blocks to the grocery and her favorite Home Depot...(!) She won't try to go any further. Not good enough I know. But I'm thankful for that much. She is still somewhat independent, living at home with a college-age student living in her apartment (which gives me A VERY LITTLE peace of mind - as part of his low, low rent, is to keep his eyes and ears out to alert me to any trouble, etc. etc.). This is likely to change any minute, any day... But it's WHAT MOTHER WANTS... She is the strongest human power-house personality in an amazingly healthy, considering her age, old body. I've been far weaker and sicker than her for 20 years (with auto immune disease - and the psychic damage of having been raised by HER, to say the least about THAT)! Hahaaa *BIGH SIGH* If any of you believe in prayer or sending "good thoughts" my way, I sincerely appreciate it. And I hope the best for all of you caring for your elderly loved ones...! - Suzi
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I'd like to add that we also had to deal with stopping driving with my mother. I know it was hard and brave for her to do, but at least she did it on her terms. Your mother will get over not being able to drive. You will not be able to get over it if she injures herself or someone else.
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It was certainly time for my MIL to stop driving. On top of fearing that she might injure herself or someone else there was the concern that she took off driving any time of the day or night. If she thought of something she would just take off - what business does an 85 yo have driving around at 10pm on a Friday night. The final straw came when she unfortunately hit the gas not the break. Fortunately she was the only one injured and it all happened right there at a hospital. My husband took her keys, did not pick up the totaled care and told her he would help her pick out a new car after she asked & got a dr.'s note saying she was could drive and would take the drivers test. She never mentioned driving again. It put it all right in her hands to ask and the Dr's hands to say no.
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All great ideas, in some states you can notify DMV and they will ask her to come in for a written and driving test if she fails they are the bad guy. Remember safety first for others on the road/sidewalks! Both my parents failed the test here in Florida and said "oh well we still have our out of state drivers license we will just use those they are good for 5 more years....scary!!!!!! Dad drove until he passed...actually a pretty good driver but mom no way....took her keys away....sold the car and bought one she liked so I could drive her around in it now that she has a wheelchair....it is cute though when I was sick and had to go to the ER she said I can drive you......ahhh...thanks but I can get there in a taxi......they forget and it is such a freedom thing for them. Here in Florida they need to test yearly over a certain age.......I was behind a lady doing 20 mph on the freeway- 70mph here and the same day a older man was coming the wrong way down a one way street it was around a corner so I didn't seem him until the last minute, just one lane... thank god I went off the road to avoid him...he looked at ME like I was nuts......sooo not worth the risk to themselves or others. How many stories have we heard about them crashing into crowds on sidewalks, into houses.....it is just not worth it. And if you have to be the bad guy...then do it.....you may be held liable if you are her caregiver and she gets the keys while you are on duty and ends up hurting someone. As I said I can count daily here all the people that shouldn't be driving.. most snow birds get away with it because they have an out of state license issued years ago.....and drive on that, legally they are to turn it in and get tested after 30 days here. Good luck and make her do the right thing!
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Have her driver's license changed to a state issued, picture ID card. It looks just like the driver's license, but isn't and never expires. You may be able to do it online in your state.

Not sure why she hasn't driven in 30 years, but I do wonder why she has a driver's license if she hasn't been driving. There's no way she's been keeping up her skills so it would be a bad situation even without the health issues.

Everyone needs a picture ID for various reasons, so change it to an ID and it will solve that problem. Sorry she is giving you such a hard time. It is the idea of losing her independence that is bothering her. As we age, we lose so many things that we just take for granted. Nobody really looks forward to the day when someone says we can't drive anymore.
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my mother is 84 has a list of health problems and has not drove a car in appx .30 yrs but now all of a sudden she is wanting to drive. She is throwing temper tantrums and even called the police when I refused to give her car keys to her. After the police came, saw her condition and told her she did not need to be driving she only got worse. Her drivers license is valid until January of next year. Should I just wait to intercept her mail and let the license expire? or do I go to the DMV and have them pull the license. Either way is going t be a huge tantrum..any suggestions welcome
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looloo, I know it's so difficult... But, give yourself a lot of credit for what you did. In time, it'll all be a distant memory (and, no one will have gotten hurt)... The world need more like you!
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