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Mom had gotten pneumonia november 11,i had called 911 after she started to hallucinate and act strangely..she was alert, and aware, although confused at times.. - then co2 levels rose drastically the next morning and she was admitted to hospital.. and was intubated..she was alert after this, she couldn't speak - but mouthed words... she had difficulty being weaned off of the tube in her mouth - her levels rose again.so they needed to perform tracheostomy..she was sedated several times..they said they were afraid she would remove tube... and then after vent operation, they had to surgically put feeding peg tube in her stomach so that she could eat, and also be transferred from hospital....so 2 operations in the space of 5 days.. and antibiotics to knock out the infection...the hospital could do no more for her.. this was one month after arriving in hospital.. she became lethargic at times, and then woke up right before she was transferred to Nursing Home/Rehab..again she was given something to sedate her for transport.. she has been in a very deep sleep ever since then.. she arrived at NH dec. 11, and woke up only once to my knowledge where she actually spoke some words, and acted as if she knew who i was and that i was there..basically acted like she was there.. not out of it.. that was on the 8th right before going to NH..since then, only recently she opens her eyes..i believe she tries to wake up.. but can't for whatever reason.. maybe she is exhausted, or she is in the healing process.. but only the last few days i have seen any improvement in her consciousness at all.. yesterday she didn't open her eyes ( and once or twice turned her head at the sound of my voice) - but she started to move her lips and smack them..not awake..but looking more like she is really sleeping.. not in a semi unconscious state.. is this normal? does the ventilator have this effect on people? she is 84.. has emphysema..stopped smoking 12 years ago.. but her lungs could not get strong ernough to breath on her own.. hence the vent, and the NH.. i'm hoping she will wake up.. the only thing wrong with her is that she can't breathe on her own..why won't she wake up?? does anyone have any similar situations or advice?? i am her only daughter. i don't know what to do.. i have to start making some long term decisions and i don't know where to begin...

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I would ask what meds she is being given...does anything have the side affect of causing her to sleep. They may be giving her something to sedate her. I would also find out from the doctor's what the prognosis is. Then you can make decisions based on what your mom would want and what her quality of life is going to be. From my experience nursing homes are not forthcoming with info, you have to ask and push for answers. So don't be afraid to go to whomever you have to in order to get answers.
As a former ICU nurse I can tell you that patients usually "wake up" after being taken off sedation unless there has been some damage done to the brain. At 84, it wouldn't take much to sedate your mom...my mom is 84 and something as simple as a benadryl will knock her out for hours. I hope you find answers and that your mom recovers. I know what you are going through...the decisions for my mom rests on my shoulders as well. Praying for you and your mom.
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Please ask a trusted doctor for an objective opinion about your mother's prognosis. Unless you intercede with a directive about her care, the nursing home will send her back to the hospital if her condition becomes critical and the hospital will continue to "treat" her. We entered this horribly sad situation with my FIL. No fewer than a dozen doctors, all with different opinions about treatment options, but only one brave and compassionate enough to talk candidly with us about his quality of life. The others put him through a torturous series of procedures and tests before he was finally transferred to hospice where he died peacefully within a couple of days.
Obviously, I don't know about your mom's outlook for any meaningful recovery but, from my experience, the people at the health care facilities who DO know her prognosis, won't take it into account when deciding whether to order tests, procedures, life-support, etc... Mercy is a quality that's hard for the elderly to find in healthcare these days. Doctors used to take responsibility for guiding a family through end-of-life decisions; offering their insight and experience to help us make choices about our loved ones. Not so anymore. As patients, we are simply a collection of conditions.
This is a painful time for you. Find one of your mom's doctors who will speak candidly with you about her prospects for recovery.
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I can not say this strongly enough...please forgive me while I shout it...FIND OUT WHAT MEDS THEY ARE GIVING HER.

I just found out they were giving my mom an anti-anxiety med 24-7 at her ALF. I would come to see her, she looked like she was near death. They said "she's only on a very tiny dose". They told me "it leaves the body in fewer than 6 hours".

All untrue.

If they are giving her benzodiazepines, it is VERY DANGEROUS for you. This class includes drugs like Xanax (alprazolam), Ativan (lorazepam), Klonopin (clonazepam), Valium (diazepam). This class includes the drug known as "date-rape" (Rohypnol). Others are ProSom (estazolam), Dalmone (flurazepam), Restoril (temazepam) and Halcion (triazolam).

Many of these drugs are actually very dangerous for elders;

They gave it to my mom every 8 hours, but Ativan has a 10- to 18-hour clearance time (longer in older people)! She was overlapping and overdosing and it was making everyone think she was dying.

Good luck to you.
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@beachybirdie, I'm glad you mentioned Ativan, my mom was given that. She was taking Zoloft and they quit that cold turkey which is what you're NOT supposed to do and I think that contributed to the plethora of health issues that she did not have before she went into the hospital for "routine" surgery. "she's only on a very tiny dose" - the hospital staff used to tell us that too. all lies. Hospitals don't care about the elderly and do everything to keep from taking care of them. So sad that we all are on here having to deal with the trauma of our loved one declining and hospitals making it worse.
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lisamichele; have you asked any of the docs what their prognosis is about your mom's having any quality of life after this treatment? QUALITY OF LIFE is the important thing to ask about...it's not just about being alive, it's about being alive and being able to partiipate in life; that's something that alot of docs don't get. You need a geriatric doctor. Recently, my 89 year old mom, with Cong. Heath Failure but not much else went to the hosp with a pleural effusion (buildup of fluid around her lungs). They did a bunch of tests and brought in an oncologist who was recommending a bone marrow biospy (after they'd done a full bone scan and chest/AB CAT scan--so no advanced cancer). Bone marrow biopsy--Hell no! As the geriatrician said to us, don't so the test if you already know that you're not going to do the treatment. My mom was not going to consent to radiation or chemo; So whatever tests they ask for, ask what the possible treatments are. Consider if your mom would want that level of treatment, and if you are comfortable with putting her through that for (and ask the docs this question) What quality of life afterwards. and talk to Hospice. Again, sorry for your pain and angst, but I think you've come to the right place for good advice. I've always gotten it here. Hugs, Barbara
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I would get a second opinion,and I am wondering if they induced the coma with the sedation? my dad was like that before he passed,but only for a few days.you need answers.♥
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It does sound like she is in a coma. My mom was a victim medical malpractice. She got sepsis from her first operation and a week later had a second one where they intubated her. She was in a coma for about 2 days, so they may have induced it to keep her from pulling out tubes or the anesthesia was too much which could be your mom's problem added on to other things. My mom while in a coma was very reactive but couldn't open her eyes. She communicated through arm and leg movement then she woke up after 2 days. Your mom may be doing the same. So there is a spark of hope for you, she just may not be able to wake up yet. Find out what meds (if they tell you - make sure you have that power of attorney that we didn't have - the doctors/nurses/staff will run circles around you and not be of any help or do what you ask them unless they know you are in charge of your mom's health and other affairs). DO NOT allow them to give her dilaudid, that will create severe hallicinations, it's much more powerful than morphine, a horrible narcotic. We had serious issues with the hospital giving that to my mom and a co-worker of mine, who is 40+ years younger than my mom, had serious issues with it too. BAD DRUG. I can see lawsuits coming out of that one. So call whatever doctors you need, try to avoid the ones who could be part of the "group" that's treating your mom. You don't want them conspiring against you just to get you off their back. We had to "fire" a couple of doctors because they didn't have our mom's best interest so don't be afraid to confront. You need a peace of mind and your mom needs you to be her advocate. I wish you much strength. It's a very stressful situation.
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(PS, I am an only child too and had to take my mother off of life support 2 days ago. she passed in less than an hour after 4 days in intensive care for double pneumonia. It was devastatingly hard, but absolutely te right thing. she would not have wanted to even gone as far as the Drs did, but there seemed to be hope... a roller coaster of bad news/good news... but each time, the good news was smaller and smaller and more damage remained.

It was time.
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Dora, if it's any consolation, my father was on a ventilator and in the induced coma for a few weeks. An ICU nurse and a pulmonary doctor told me I should expect that he wouldn't survive, but if he did, he wouldn't be able to walk. I told them they didn't know my father!

I fought their prejudice and willingness to just give up on an 85 year old man. It wasn't the first time I challenged the "quitter attitude." Eventually, 7 months later, Dad came home, after being decannulated and having speech therapy. A few months later he passed a swallowing test and began eating real food.

He'll shortly celebrate his 98th birthday. He still walks and causes me great anxiety when he's out walking in this heat.

I read all I could on his situation and asked doctors and nurses a lot of questions. By the time he came home, I had two 3 ring binders filled with medical information downloaded from online.

Your mother may be sleeping b/c that's what her body needs, or b/c of a combination of meds, etc. Even after Dad came out of the coma, he slept a lot, especially when he was hemorraging internally.

So, don't give up; hang in there! Learn as much as you can about all the complicated and interactive situations and ask as many questions as you feel necessary.

And just keep holding your mother's hand when you visit her. Although we don't really know how much she's sensing now, I do believe that the power of touch can communicate words that can't be heard.
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What are the docs telling you about your mom's condition? Is she asleep or is she in a coma? What do THEY expect in terms of recovery? If you're not getting clear answers, talk to the social worker for the NH; then the patient advocate. You want to know if this is time to bring in hospice or palliative care, or are they expecting a recovery with some quality of life. So sorry for your troubles and pain. Hugs, Barbara
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