Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Let them be angry. They *will* get over it. You must defend this boundary. They are angry that you have one. Tell them if they think it's such a swell idea, they should lead the way and do it themselves.
Did I go through this with family! My cousin who is a few years younger than me, had it in her head that I should uproot my life and become my aunt's caregiver. Every time I looked, she was texting me asking me if I could come and stay with aunt and "help out". I live out of state. Mind you, she was not doing any caregiving, except making excuses why she could not and also criticizing me and questioning everything I did do for aunt. She even suggested we make up a schedule to take turns to care for aunt, but then threw in that she has a family and could only visit aunt for one day a week for an hour, while she expected me to move in with her. She said aunt did not want strangers (caregivers) in her house, so suggested it should be family. (Me). I got out of a tangled web. I stopped coming down because gave an inch, they all wanted a mile. They are ALL angry with me because I set boundaries for myself. Aunt has her caregiver, and I am no longer the solution to the problem. I no longer hear from any of them. I did text cousin last year to see how aunt was doing, and got a short response. "She's doing fine". I don't care that they are angry. I have a right to have a life just like they do, and so do you. They're angry? Oh, well. Too bad, so sad. (Not!)
Truth is dear- you can’t please all of the people all of the time so the answer is please yourself others don’t mind you are tired others don’t actually care if it makes you ill as long as they’re ok pull up the ladder jack I’m ok — time to look at what options are available to your aunt can she afford to go into care maybe her doctor or charity can help — as for your selfish siblings It looks like you all are going to fall out you state I am living xx place -aunt lives xx place I therefore cannot provide the help you are asking and me uprooting my life is not an option so kindly don’t bring it up again - it’s not happening
if they’re not open to other forms of help then tell them to call in health people and get her assessed and tell them no one’s available - charities might be able to advise options whatever- it was very disrespectful to assume your life is not as important as theirs - if they’re can’t be reasonable I would cut off contact youre not here to be bullied or made the sacrificial lamb for them I wouldn’t have any further conversations if they’re only suggesting selfish options that benefit themselves your life matters as well
My question is, how old is sister? How old are you?
I am 76 and other than my husband, I am not caring for anyone else. And I have told him if he gets stubborn, he will be placed.😊 I cared for my Mom with Dementia for 20 months and found out I was not a caregiver and placed her in Assisted Living. Best thing I ever did. She had the freedom there that she did not have in my home.
If you do not want to care for your sister, thats OK. Its a hard job and your life will not be your own.
One of my siblings was constantly annoyed with my decisions when I was helping my dad. My help was given as I could, when I could, and never demanded. For the unreasonable sibling I highly recommend ignore and delete, they both work well. Don’t ever feel you must justify your actions, you’re an adult doing what’s best for you and most likely your parent.
That is a shame. But as they must know, there are many times in life we are angry. Ask them to practice the serenity prayer to help themselves understand there are simply some things in life they've no control over, and this is one of them.
Hold your ground. Don't be guilt-tripped. There are always other solutions. Have peace in your decision, and trust that this will blow over with your siblings.
juhlgold, welcome to the forum. One thing I ran into when my parents needed help around the house, was that I was also a senior myself.
One thing I asked my parents that when the time came for them to hire a caregiver would they want someone who was in their 60's? Someone who hated to cook? Someone who was limited on driving? Someone who wouldn't be able to pick them up if they fell? Of course they answered "no" to each question. Then I told them I would be that caregiver. I think it helped them realize that I wasn't a teenager anymore.
Siblings like this are why God put an off button on my phone, gave me legs to walk, and provided a car to drive away. You don’t have to tolerate their anger. My siblings don’t think I do the right thing for my mom but many years ago my parents gave me the responsibility because they trusted me to handle things; so it is not care by committee. You do what you are willing to do and they can do the same!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My cousin who is a few years younger than me, had it in her head that I should uproot my life and become my aunt's caregiver. Every time I looked, she was texting me asking me if I could come and stay with aunt and "help out". I live out of state. Mind you, she was not doing any caregiving, except making excuses why she could not and also criticizing me and questioning everything I did do for aunt. She even suggested we make up a schedule to take turns to care for aunt, but then threw in that she has a family and could only visit aunt for one day a week for an hour, while she expected me to move in with her. She said aunt did not want strangers (caregivers) in her house, so suggested it should be family. (Me).
I got out of a tangled web. I stopped coming down because gave an inch, they all wanted a mile.
They are ALL angry with me because I set boundaries for myself. Aunt has her caregiver, and I am no longer the solution to the problem.
I no longer hear from any of them. I did text cousin last year to see how aunt was doing, and got a short response. "She's doing fine".
I don't care that they are angry. I have a right to have a life just like they do, and so do you. They're angry? Oh, well. Too bad, so sad. (Not!)
others don’t mind you are tired
others don’t actually care if it makes you ill as long as they’re ok
pull up the ladder jack I’m ok
—
time to look at what options are available to your aunt
can she afford to go into care
maybe her doctor or charity can help
—
as for your selfish siblings
It looks like you all are going to fall out
you state I am living xx place -aunt lives xx place
I therefore cannot provide the help you are asking and me uprooting my life is not an option so kindly don’t bring it up again - it’s not happening
if they’re not open to other forms of help then tell them to call in health people and get her assessed and tell them no one’s available -
charities might be able to advise options
whatever- it was very disrespectful to assume your life is not as important as theirs - if they’re can’t be reasonable I would cut off contact
youre not here to be bullied or made the sacrificial lamb for them
I wouldn’t have any further conversations if they’re only suggesting selfish options that benefit themselves
your life matters as well
I am 76 and other than my husband, I am not caring for anyone else. And I have told him if he gets stubborn, he will be placed.😊 I cared for my Mom with Dementia for 20 months and found out I was not a caregiver and placed her in Assisted Living. Best thing I ever did. She had the freedom there that she did not have in my home.
If you do not want to care for your sister, thats OK. Its a hard job and your life will not be your own.
One thing I asked my parents that when the time came for them to hire a caregiver would they want someone who was in their 60's? Someone who hated to cook? Someone who was limited on driving? Someone who wouldn't be able to pick them up if they fell? Of course they answered "no" to each question. Then I told them I would be that caregiver. I think it helped them realize that I wasn't a teenager anymore.
See All Answers