Mom has just been placed in a board and care assisted living home. Her dementia is worse than ever. - AgingCare.com

Mom has just been placed in a board and care assisted living home. Her dementia is worse than ever.

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She is paranoid, shakey and misinterprent things. Just totally on edge all the time and scared. She no longer trusts my sister and I. Will she get over these feelings or is this the wrong placement?

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My MIL with dementia has big setbacks when her location is changed. The adjustment can take months for her. One example is her bathroom, she was in her old room for months before she began to use the bathroom in her room regularly. She was heading out into the hall (making a left at her bathroom - fully open door) and searching for bathrooms in other people's rooms. She got into the habit of going to the nurses' desk and borrowing the key to the public bathroom - always passing her own private bathroom in her room on the way. "Discovering" her frig filled with Sprite in her room also took months. When my FIL passed away, she was changed to another hall and the whole process started over again. The room itself was identical, sadly, the frig had to go in a new location due to her new roommates medical equipment....... FIL passed away in June and she "found" her frig in mid-September. We had taped Sprite can cutouts on the frig door, showed her on each visit, etc. It just takes time. MIL has been in her facility since January, 2012, she is now settled in, wheels herself down the hall to meals. Has friends at her regular table and enjoys the activities offered. Of course those are her good days.
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jeannegibbs has given you some good advice. In my opinion, her dementia sounds too far gone for assisted living. If she has been taking Aricept for only 2 1/2 weeks, I think that the doctor should be informed about how she is doing. Does the place she is in have a doctor connected with it. If so, he probably needs to be made aware of what is going on.
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The dementia wasn't nearly as bad as it is now. She was unable to take care of herself, not eating, not getting up to change diapers or clothes, no bathing , etc. the dr along with myself felt she needed more assistance. I have POA. She is currently taking aricept. She has only been in this situation for 2 1/2 weeks. I don't know how much more I can take . I will talk to the care givers .
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A change in environment can be very unsettling for persons with dementia. It may be that is the trigger for these behaviors, and that any change would have had similar results. Cmagnum's questions are worth considering, also.

How long has she been in this new situation? What does the staff there think? Have they had other residents that behave this way at first, and then settle in?
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Does her doctor think her dementia is ok for assisted living or is it too bad for that setting and needs to be in a nursing home? What meds if any is she taking? Who has durable and medical POA for your mother? Who placed her in the assisted living home?
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