How do we redirect her demands that she wants to be taken to her "home" when she is in Assisted Living where she has lived for more than 5 years?

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Mom has just had her 100th BD! She has lived at a residential assisted living home for more than 5 years. She has recently become more confused and has been consistently demanding that she be taken to her "home", which is more most pronounced during the evening. She has been calling us for the last week after her dinner, and wanting to have us take her "home".

We have asked her to tell us where she thinks her home is - ie, is it the home that she lived for more than 50 years, and in another state? She told us tonight that she does not want to go there. She also told us that she does not expect to stay with us at our home.

We have found that it is very difficult to redirect her thoughts - it does not make sense to go along with her requests as that would mean that we go to her assisted living facility to take her to a fictional "home".

How do we deal with this?

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Part 2: If the change in behavior is rather sudden, you may want to discuss this with the facility. Urinary track infections, dehydration and changes in medicines may be causing the change in behavior. Of course, at 100, her age is impacting her too. Keep us posted.
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This really does sound like sundowning and early dementia. I watched my Mom do this during her early stages and one time I even went to her place, brought her to my car, went for a 20 minute drive and returned to her place! (That was the worst!) But I've watched the aides at my Mom's AL (memory care) handle this stuff all of the time. The aides tell the resident that there is a traffic delay and the bus company is going to call when it is cleared up. Try some activity that your Mom likes at night that is soothing. Perhaps playing some old time music, Lawrence Welk re-runs, etc. Good luck
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Thank you - great suggestions! We will be trying your suggestions.
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Can you postpone discussion of the topic? Will she likely forget what you've said? For example, could you say, "I'm so sorry that I can't come tonight, but I'll call you in the morning to make arrangements"? Would she remember that in the morning? Or something along the lines of "I don't think we can get you home for a week or so. Is there anything you need where you are to make you comfortable while you are waiting?"

Recently my husband packed a little bag and was standing in the kitchen (although he shouldn't be walking on his own). I asked where he was going. He was going to catch a bus to go home. "Oh," I said sadly, looking at the clock. "The last bus has left for the night! There won't be another one till morning. Can I help you until then?" Yes, he wanted to go to bed. I told him he was in luck, I knew just where there was a great bed, I got the wheel chair and took him to is own bed.

The request to "go home" comes from people who are in the home they've lived in for decades as well as from people who have recently moved to nursing homes, and in every situation in between. It is very hard to deal with, as you can attest!
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