I think what you may need to do is go into a care community. You cannot care for your husband forever. And you will eventually need more care. Plans should be made now while you can make informed decisions. You could go into an AL and DH nearby in Memory care.
My experience with daycare was a good one. They picked Mom up about 8am. This gave me time for a shower and then DH and I did something together. They gave Mom her shower so sent clean clothing along. They offered physical therapy too. She received breakfast and lunch. Back home by 3pm. She went 3x a week. A poster complained that her Dad did not adjust to Adult care. Why, because he only went 1x a week. Not enough.
Most folks that I know who have taken their loved one to a senior day care, speak very highly of it, as they can drop their loved one off and they will be fed, entertained with games, music etc. and taken well care of, for a reasonable price. I'm guessing if you and your spouse both have dementia, that neither of you are driving, so not sure how you would get there, unless you use something like Trans-Aid, as I'm not aware that they do home pick ups. Hopefully you are both getting the care you need and are living in an assisted living facility, that transitions to memory care as things get worse. Wishing you both the very best.
The senior center around here provides tai chi, crafts, classes and lunch for a minimal fee.
However, the truth is that you need more help. You have ALZ yourself and cannot care for a fellow ALZ patient that is incontinent on top of this. And at 76, I'm gathering you are a couple years younger? Even with ALZ you could live another 15 years.
We know there is no cure, no real way to slow the decline. Plan for this stage in your future now. Consider liquidating the house (if you have one) and moving together into a small AL apartment, preferably one where one can age in place.
My experience with daycare was a good one. They picked Mom up about 8am. This gave me time for a shower and then DH and I did something together. They gave Mom her shower so sent clean clothing along. They offered physical therapy too. She received breakfast and lunch. Back home by 3pm. She went 3x a week. A poster complained that her Dad did not adjust to Adult care. Why, because he only went 1x a week. Not enough.
I'm guessing if you and your spouse both have dementia, that neither of you are driving, so not sure how you would get there, unless you use something like Trans-Aid, as I'm not aware that they do home pick ups.
Hopefully you are both getting the care you need and are living in an assisted living facility, that transitions to memory care as things get worse.
Wishing you both the very best.
However, the truth is that you need more help. You have ALZ yourself and cannot care for a fellow ALZ patient that is incontinent on top of this. And at 76, I'm gathering you are a couple years younger? Even with ALZ you could live another 15 years.
We know there is no cure, no real way to slow the decline. Plan for this stage in your future now. Consider liquidating the house (if you have one) and moving together into a small AL apartment, preferably one where one can age in place.
You and your husband have dementia. Are you still living alone? You are providing his care. I think you both need more than day care.