Does it sound selfish to want some down time?

Sound selfish to whom?

To me it sounds like a sane way to stay healthy -- that is, if you not only want some down time but follow through and arrange it.

Julianbabe, after reading your profile, I would suggest it is time for your Mom to be placed in a continuing care facility.... as you already know, Alzheimer's doesn't get better, it doesn't stay the same, it only gets worse. So sad, as your Mom is so young to have this disease. I realize you have your brother's helping you, but Alzheimer's can go on for years.... I know someone who had it for 14 years.

It does not sound selfish at all. Does it sound selfish to your mother? Right now you have your marriage, your children, yourself and your full time work as your primary responsibilities. Please do not give up your full time work for that is a slippery sloop that you don't want to go down.

no . You have your family and your job and all that that entails. In order to be good or successful in any of those areas you need to take care of yourself. Be kind and gentle to your children's mother! They need you and will only be young this once. Would you tell your best friend she should take on more obligations if she were in this position. I think women in general feel that they have to take care of everyone, that somehow they are obligated to...but they forget themselves! And then, of course, there is the guilt we take on! We think somehow we have to be everything to everyone, we don't, you can say no. I struggle with this everyday since I am one of the primary (there are 2) caregivers of my elderly mother. Learning to say no is very important. Be gentle to yourself, I'm trying to be!