My selfish bully cousins sneaked into town and took my mom that has dementia without my permission and without her oxygen for 3 hours. They told her she didn't need it. She know she needs it but gets confused. They are in there 80's and very stubborn. It's not the first time I have had problems with them. My mother loves having them around but doesn't see what evil they negativity and harm they bring with them. Should i just let their behavior go. What if the lack of oxygen when causes her to go into distress. I really think they would just ignore it say oh you're all right. Cuz thats the kind of people they are. They don't like me because I call them out on stuff. Like their gossiping and slander. Any advice please
Are you POA?
If you are POA you could have reported this as a "kidnapping" and involved the police. They placed your mom in danger by not bringing necessary medical equipment that she needs.
If you are not POA and mom went willingly there is not much that you can do. (Other than change the fact that you are not able to make decisions for her, you would need Guardianship at this point)
Getting back to her living alone.
Did your cousins have a key to the house, did mom let them in?
If they have a key, change the locks.
If mom let them in how do you know she is not going to let just anyone in. A person that claims they are with the Electric Company, the Village, a Detective wanting to ask questions about a break in down the street. this can put her in danger. How do you know she is not going to wander out at night to go get a dozen eggs, or look for the dog she hears, or the child crying.
There is just so much that can go wrong. Please rethink her living alone.
If your mother has severe dementia, how is it that she was ALONE when cousins took her, and without protection?
Who does your mother live with?
What reason, other than wanting to be with her, take her to lunch, etc. would her cousins come to take your mom?
You tell us she WANTS to go with your cousins, and enjoys them.
If her dementia is so far advanced that she's unable to correctly make decisions to leave with cousins, how is it--again--that she is alone and vulnerable to them?
I'm afraid I can't imagine a bunch of bullies swooping in to snatch up an old woman, take her without her needed Oxygen, abuse her a few hours, then drop her back in your lap. We need more information.
You don't say if your mom lives by herself or with you(I'm hoping she doesn't live by herself if she has dementia and is on oxygen)but would you rather that your cousins just hang out at the house with you and your mom instead of taking her out so you can get a bit of a break?
And if you live with her, how were your cousins able to "sneak" your mom out if the house? Just curious.
And if your mom TRULY cannot be without her oxygen for 3 hours then you must make that perfectly clear with your cousins if they want to take her out again, but as with a lot of folks that are on oxygen, they don't need to be on it 24/7 but only as needed.
Did you check your moms oxygen level when she returned home to make sure it was still within a safe level? And if it was, then you know that she's ok to be without it for a while.
Please let your mom get what little enjoyment in this life that she can with the people that she loves.