Am I being selfish asking Mom to contribute to groceries each wk? - AgingCare.com

Am I being selfish asking Mom to contribute to groceries each wk?

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It's not that she eats that much but I am buying differently...I'm a salad and pasta girl and she is meat, potatoes and bread. I'm also wasting a good bit (or eating it myself...sigh...) even tho I try to fix just enough for her I never know what she'll eat this time. One night she is craving pinto beans and biscuits and several days later she informs me she doesn't like pinto beans, never has. To be perfectly honest, Mom can afford to help out and I can afford to feed her without her help. Am I just being petty?

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I get it. Yeah, we have a tendency to feel petty because we don't NEED the monetary help. Yet there's something else going on . . . Like we want to feel what we're doing has value, and we want to know we're being appreciated.

Some here have also pointed out that it's a matter of dignity to pay one's own way. I couldn't agree more.

Come up with a reasonable amount, and don't think a thing about it. Makes perfect sense.
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I believe that all elders should be given the dignity of paying their own way, to whatever extent they can.
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I agree that your mom should be paying.

But I came here to say my mom is like yours - one week she loves something (like cheese) and the next week she's "off it". Then when I mention it a month later, she'll say, "Oh yes, I love cheese" and she won't remember she told me she's off it. Or she'll say she doesn't like something that she fed my brother and I regularly while we were growing up (like spinach or mushrooms). It's hard to keep track of her changing likes and dislikes. So I feel your pain!!
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Of course not, everyone should be paying their own way in life if they can afford it. In my opinion children who spend their own money while their parents income is unused are just being foolish, especially if there are other siblings who don't contribute anything.
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I don't think so, if she's able to pay something toward food and she is eating different foods than you then it's perfectly ok to ask that she contribute. Make a list of her likes and dislikes, you can do a weekly menu and plan ahead what you will need to purchase.
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I don't think you are being petty... what if it was reversed, where you had moved back in with a parent and you were in your 20's or 30's.... if you had an *income* as an adult your parents would want you to pay them rent. I assumed your Mom gets social security and maybe some type of pension fund if she had worked or from your Dad.
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