It seems at times, this is not the man I married 51 years ago and am very saddened. How do I handle it?

My wife of 31 years is now in a hospital for evaluation for placement in NH. She has had Alzheimer's for 5 years and progressively became violent at times where she threw things, threatened my life and many other things that are common with dementia patients. She was always someone who like to control what was happening or being center of attention which started after our wedding. She worked in different jobs and was very intelligent and learned her jobs and did great at them. When this came along and she became the way she is I became angry at the disease but had to keep alert to her actions and it would seem like someone would flip a switch and she would go off. She is now being treated and the doctor their has increased her meds and they say she is doing better but still has behavioral problems. I visited her yesterday and she is on the listless side which is a reaction of the meds and the new one Aricept. So, as my dad would say go with your gut feeling. I did not want to send my wife to this hospital but it was for her well being. She was not taking her meds, not showering and not changing her clothing and getting worse so now she will get help. Yes we are their caregivers and and must make decisions on our own and pray we do right. I was an LPN for 18 years and took care of seniors with all types of problems dementia being #1 and with my knowledge of dementia all you can do is try your best. I have cried, hated my self for not doing a better caregiving but when the person you care for refuses help and belittles you or threatens you there's not much you can do. Best of luck and Gob bless you