My 95 year old father is now in "trouble" for using offensive language with a worker at his assisted living residence. I have spoken with him many times about this, but now it looks like we may need to move him to another facility. Please help.
Blueize, If the condition is Tourettes Syndrome your father may not have to move. A facility should be able to deal with this condition, not punish him. It may be a disability. It may be treatable. If he has offended a worker, has he also offended other residents? You could contact the people who enforce the Americans With Disabilities. Maybe that is the ACLU?
However, maybe your father needs a higher level of care. Maybe he won't want to stay where he is not wanted. Maybe what is needed is for private companion care to be with him in public. If he is drinking or otherwise substance abusing, then get him treatment. There are so many things one can do. Does he stop when you scold him? Then he can control his behavior somewhat.
blueize, if this is not common behavior, then possible your Dad might have an Urinary Tract Infection [UTI], as such behavior can be related to that. And/or he could have dementia, and there is a stage where inappropriate language/behavior is not unusual.
The fact that your Dad is "in trouble" for the language tells me the facility might not be the level of care he needs. Those who work in Memory Care are use to such language.
What are the underlying issues? Is he unhappy where he is? Does he want to come home? I find that offensive language comes more frequently when frustration and anger levels rise.
If this behavior is uncharacteristic, try to find the source of this change and address that, although if he's not happy in AL, that's not going to be an easy. And if so, perhaps you could think of ways to lessen his desire to be elsewhere.
Does your father have dementia? You don't say what type of offensive language he's using, but chances are he may not have complete control over this behavior. If you've spoken with him many times about it, and he hasn't gotten a grip on it yet, it might be time to talk to his doctor about this. It could be a symptom of something else going on. If it's just one worker, perhaps the residence could adjust work schedules?
A facility should be able to deal with this condition, not punish him. It may be a disability. It may be treatable. If he has offended a worker, has he also offended other residents? You could contact the people who enforce the Americans With Disabilities. Maybe that is the ACLU?
However, maybe your father needs a higher level of care. Maybe he won't want to stay where he is not wanted. Maybe what is needed is for private companion care to be with him in public. If he is drinking or otherwise substance abusing, then get him treatment. There are so many things one can do. Does he stop when you scold him? Then he can control his behavior somewhat.
Please let us know what you think.
The fact that your Dad is "in trouble" for the language tells me the facility might not be the level of care he needs. Those who work in Memory Care are use to such language.
If this behavior is uncharacteristic, try to find the source of this change and address that, although if he's not happy in AL, that's not going to be an easy. And if so, perhaps you could think of ways to lessen his desire to be elsewhere.