My 95 year old father is now in "trouble" for using offensive language with a worker at his assisted living residence. I have spoken with him many times about this, but now it looks like we may need to move him to another facility. Please help.
Your dad is suffering. He's not the bully, they are. He's a victim of a disease. He needs a medical environment, not street level egos who love to poke sticks at the weak, a low form of cruelty. Blame the victim. If he could help it he would. He can't. Language is his form of walking stick. It makes him feel safe. And for good reason, he's under attack. I wouldn't scold him. that hurts. I'd find him help. At 95 he needs those around him to help him to find peace and to feel safe.
According to Federal Law there are only 6 reasons a resident can be discharged from a facility (skilled or assisted living.) Using offensive language is NOT one of the reasons! I would also want to know if your father had dementia. If so, this is not unusual behavior and the facility should be able to work with the situation. Regardless it is still not legally a reason for discharge.
Cj Do you happen to know the six reasons? Reminds of the George Carlin routine - 7 things you can never say on TV
Here are some of the behaviors I've observed at mom's memory care center that seem to be tolerated - all within reason - I've seen the police called once when a resident picked up a table and smashed the TV - - cussing - disrobing - peeing - throwing poo - mild fighting - taking other's belongings - taking other's food - kissing and petting
There could be more but after awhile nothing would surprise me
There are only six legal reasons for discharge according to the state/federal regulations. Missouri State Regulation 19CSR 30-82.050 (2) states that the facility shall permit each resident to remain in the facility unless— • (A) The transfer or discharge is appropriate because the resident’s welfare and the resident’s needs cannot be met by the facility; (the home must proof that they have done everything to resolve the problem and can not) • (B) The transfer or discharge is appropriate because the resident’s health has improved sufficiently so the resident no longer needs the services provided by the facility; • (C) The safety of individuals in the facility is endangered; • (D) The health of individuals in the facility would otherwise be endangered; • (E) The resident has failed, after reasonable and appropriate notice, to pay for (or have paid under Medicare or Medicaid) a stay at the facility. For a resident who becomes eligible for Medicaid after admission to a facility, the facility may charge that resident under Medicaid: or • (F) The facility ceases to operate
Do you happen to know the six reasons?
Reminds of the George Carlin routine - 7 things you can never say on TV
Here are some of the behaviors I've observed at mom's memory care center that seem to be tolerated - all within reason - I've seen the police called once when a resident picked up a table and smashed the TV -
- cussing
- disrobing
- peeing
- throwing poo
- mild fighting
- taking other's belongings
- taking other's food
- kissing and petting
There could be more but after awhile nothing would surprise me
There are only six legal reasons for discharge according to the state/federal regulations. Missouri State Regulation 19CSR 30-82.050 (2) states that the facility shall permit each resident to remain in the facility unless—
• (A) The transfer or discharge is appropriate because the resident’s welfare and the resident’s needs cannot be met by the facility; (the home must proof that they have done everything to resolve the problem and can not)
• (B) The transfer or discharge is appropriate because the resident’s health has improved sufficiently so the resident no longer needs the services provided by the facility;
• (C) The safety of individuals in the facility is endangered;
• (D) The health of individuals in the facility would otherwise be endangered;
• (E) The resident has failed, after reasonable and appropriate notice, to pay for (or have paid under Medicare or Medicaid) a stay at the facility. For a resident who becomes eligible for Medicaid after admission to a facility, the facility may charge that resident under Medicaid: or
• (F) The facility ceases to operate