Is there a "scared straight" option to put Mom in AL for a week?

UPDATE...RESPITE CARE IS WONDERFUL!!!! My mother went for her 5 nights and all went well. I did talk with her daily. She had her complaints, but I think she didn't mind it all that much. (If she did, she didn't say too much about it...she is probably worried that I would just leave her there). We have her visit reserved for November, for 7 nights, and will be doing 1 week per month. Now I have something to look forward to every few weeks!!! My husband is so sweet and easygoing...he never complained even when I was stressed to no end. I can see that this is a relief for him too.

Hi there, I'm in central Florida, and have been taking care of my mother, 24-7, in my home. We just passed the 1 year mark and have only had 4 nights of freedom in that entire time. I have found a respite care center in Lakeland..it is beautiful. We went as a family to look at it, and the cost is only 100 per day, including meals. This is a private room. I couldn't believe how cheap it is..you can't go to a hotel for that and be fed 3 meals per day. Of course they do charge a little more if they want their hair done, meds given to them, or meals delivered to their room. In all honesty, I don't care what it costs...my sanity is more important. Her first visit is next Wednesday - Monday...so 5 nights. Then she is scheduled to go in November for 1 week. We are going to try 1 week per month to see how this works out for a while. She is already asking me questions about it this morning...calling it, "That place"..."What time will we leave that morning?" "Can I take my chair?", "What if I want to eat in my room?", etc. My husband and I are counting down the days until next Wednesday...We already have our tickets for Halloween Horror Nights that next Thursday!!!! I plan on feeling like a teenager while she is gone. I already told my daughter, NO GRANDKIDS next week. I'm going to be selfish, and love doing it!!! I love my mom, but I think it will be good for both of us. Just remember, well here anyway, I think it is a licensing thing, that most places don't have very many respite rooms. They are rooms that don't require a Dr's order to be there. Good Luck!!!!! I hope you are able to get the break you are looking for!!!

Yes, there are definitely AL's that offer respite care. I hear commercials on the radio for them everyday. I would think that you would just have to find one that's convenient and safe. Do a Google search. "Assisted Living, Respite Care", something like that. I don't know the cost or if someone (like your mom) has to qualify but I would think if an AL offers respite care it would be a fairly quick and simple process. Why offer respite care if it takes weeks to get someone placed, right? When we need respite care we need it right now.

If your mom has dementia maybe she isn't being purposely uncooperative. She may be unable to do things anymore. She may stare at the walls because her brain is diseased by dementia. But I agree, she may flourish in an AL environment. But if she's destructive is she able to qualify for AL? There are different terms for different things and I think a lot of it depends upon where you live. To me, AL = Assisted Living. And here in St. Louis that means that an elderly person lives in their own apartment in a retirement community that's attached to a nursing home (usually). But AL is for people who are more independent while a NH = Nursing Home is for people who can't live on their own anymore or participate much in their own care. A person in a NH wouldn't be able to live in an AL facility. And it's these AL facilities I hear the commercials about here in St. Louis.

Good luck to you.

I wouldn't think of it as "scared straight," since we think of that as a way to teach kids to act right to avoid punishment. AL isn't a punishment. It is simply getting help. The behaviors you describe for your mother sound typical for many people with Alzheimer's. She cannot help it. She probably feels lost and nothing makes sense anymore. If you are overwhelmed by all of it, AL for people with dementia may be a very good place to consider. Dementia is not an easy thing to cope with.