I'm scared to leave my dad (91) alone when he falls at night and is so small only weighing a 110lbs. What should I do? - AgingCare.com

I'm scared to leave my dad (91) alone when he falls at night and is so small only weighing a 110lbs. What should I do?

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I'm alone taking care of him and I'm scared cause he falls and he don't want to go to the hospice. I can't say yes Dad you must it would be heart broken. he sleeps like I never saw him sleep like this before. he was a hard worker all his life, I know that if I leave him alone he will die he told me, now I cant go far if so he ask me where did you go, I said well dad I can't always be here he says if I go he don't want to live. so I'm staying close to him..i have a sister but she's not helping me at all. I love him do death I'm going to help him till I die. for me I personally think that everybody that is capable of helping your Dad or Mom should help, they raised us they fed us, they worked hard for us ,its our turn to help the best way that we can no but and if.. I do,

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zythrr, that's a good question.   The answer is no.   I really think when it comes to Independent Living/Assisted Living, that really close connection that one has then much younger with friends isn't there.  

The Staff knew who I was, but the residents only knew me as Bob's daughter.   They pretty much couldn't remember anything more than that, if that.   I didn't expect the other residents that Dad was friends with to approach me after my Dad had passed.

Now, my Dad's two professional caregivers from an outside Agency, who had been with him for a year, after my Dad passed, they both came to funeral.... I got calls a couple weeks later from both of them to see how I was doing... it was like we all an extended family.  
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freqflyer

Out of curiosity have any of these people your dad was around kept in touch with you?
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Jessica,
Are you still there?
How are you today?
Talk to us.....
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Jessia, there are when our parents do need a higher level of care that we just cannot provide.  Thus the choices are hiring professional caregivers from an Agency who are familiar with Alzheimer's/Dementia as per your profile.... or for Dad to move into Assisted Living.

My own Dad was in his mid-90's, a fall risk, and was starting his journey into memory issues.   He moved from his home into a senior living facility and he was so happy there he said he wished he would have done this years ago.   He was now around people closer to his age, thus made new friends.  He had menu type meals, he said it was like going to a fancy restaurant without needing to struggle putting on a coat and go outside in the cold.   Lot of positives.  But it was expensive. 
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Your profile says that your dad is 91 and that he has dementia. Is this something that is longstanding? I would think that if so, your dad is not really in a position to dictate how you arrange for his care. He likely doesn't understand why it's too risky for you to leave him alone. Do you have to leave to go any particular place? Do you work? Your profile says that you are disabled? Is this the case?

If there is no one available to stay with him while you have to go out, then, I'd explore placement in a Hospice Center. You might check resources with your county or state to see if they can help. And I would just try to comfort dad with words that he will be taken care of. It's great you are helping take care of your dad, but, you have to take care of yourself too. If something happened to you, then dad would be in a worse position.
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You may be able to get hospice caregivers to come to your home, evaluate your Dad, without telling him they are from hospice.
It sounds like you could use some help right away, before this becomes way too much for you. Reach out-call the Senior Center Supportive Services Department.
Stay in touch here, on this forum. There are so many compassionate and caring people on here, and I hope you stay long enough, come back to meet some of them.
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Dear Jessica,

I'm so sorry to hear you are all alone in caring for your dad. I know he doesn't want to go to hospice and you are doing the best for him at home. I'm sure he is afraid. And I know he doesn't want to be alone. But if you need a break, try to get your sister or another family member or friend to sit with him. Or if you can try to access some community resources. I know how much you love your dad and want to support him. You sound like an amazing daughter. Be with him as much as you can but also try to take care of yourself as well. Thinking of you.
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Do you have a question for us, Jessica.
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