My nans hallucinations scare me. Does anyone else ever get scared by the things they say? - AgingCare.com

My nans hallucinations scare me. Does anyone else ever get scared by the things they say?

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I know this sounds daft considering I know that the dementia is the cause of her hallucinations but sometimes the things she says scare me. For example 2 nights ago she woke me up at 4 am because there was a "man in a black cloak in her room" so as usual I go in and check for burglars and all, all clear so I put her back to bed and she asks me to stay while she falls asleep. Im sat on her bed and I say yeah sure nan it's just a bad dream don't worry and she said. For gods sake lily he's got his arm around you, stop acting like you can't see him. It really scared me. I know it's just the dementia but it does scares me. Does anyone else ever get scared by the things they say?

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Calmly reassure her that she is perfectly safe and you will send the man away. Assure her you will call in angels to protect her. That way you are redirecting her to a positive thought process. Sing for her if you can, softly, or play soothing music at a very low volume in her room, just enough to quiet the sound of wind outside.
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Yeah some send shivers down my spine. 2am i found her looking out of her window shouting at the man in the garden in the hat. I didnt sleep for the rest of the night worrying if there really was someone in the garden, its would just be my luck that i would put it down to hallucinations and actually there was a burglar/thief/axe murderer/cannibal in the garden lol.
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Try not to show your nan your fear. Be calm and reassuring. Try not to argue with her about whether what she sees is real. You are doing the right thing by checking for bad guys and giving the all-clear.

Perhaps when she demands that you must see him you just say, "I'm sorry but this is your dream, Nan, and I can't see what you see in your dream. Sometimes at your age dreams continue a little after you are awake. It will fade away soon. And I'll stay here until you fall asleep."

Sometimes my husband's hallucinations/delusions would have scared me if I had them, but they didn't scare him. So I just went along with them. "Yes, dear, I'll stay out of our bedroom until the medical examiner comes and removes the body. While we are waiting, do you want a piece of the leftover pie?"

I think with delusions that scare the person you can't quite go along in the same way, but the goal is not to argue, to reassure them of their safety, and try to distract them to a different subject.
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I was lucky in that my mother only had a single occurrence of hallucinating- well, at least that I knew of. My mom was still in IL at the time and had been abusing oxycodone for a while. Usually when she took too much she just talked nonsensically and/or got very drowsy. On the one occasion I had come to visit and my mom started talking about the tall man in her apartment. I must have had an odd expression on my face and she must have realized she was talking "off" as she stopped mid sentence and didn't bring it up again. Still - even though I knew the cause of what she was seeing - it gave me the creeps. When I read the posts here regarding loved ones hallucinations I have to marvel at people's composure.
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