What is the best thing to say to an elder who has been given a terrible diagnosis? - AgingCare.com

What is the best thing to say to an elder who has been given a terrible diagnosis?

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My mother developed a pineal tumor and it was considered inoperable?!

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Whatever the situation might be--Support is very very important---if possible just be there for that special person, and let them vent.
You also may want to get another opinion on this terrible diagnosis.
Whatever the case the case may be-support/compassion most likely will work the bst in my opinion.
Counceling may alos be another option to turn to~
Best to you and yours,
Hap
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Tell them you are truly sorry for their news and encourage them to get all the help they can however they choose to handle it and listen to them and let them vent be hopeful but not dismissive of the truth of their situation and their feelings about it. We may very well all be there one day.
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Validate their feelings.

"When we validate someone, we allow them to safely share their feelings and thoughts. We are reassuring them that it is okay to have the feelings they have. We are demonstrating that we will still accept them after they have shared their feelings. We let them know that we respect their perception of things at that moment. We help them feel heard, acknowledged, understood and accepted.

Sometimes validation entails listening, sometimes it is a nod or a sign of agreement or understanding, sometimes it can be a hug or a gentle touch. Sometimes it means being patient when the other person is not ready to talk. "

Don't try to fix their feelings. Be fully present with them without feeling like you always have to have something to say. Give them some supportive physical touch like a hug or holding their hand.
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If true, you could say, "I love you. This is a hard time for me, and I know it is devastating for you. I'm here for you. Is there anything I can do to better support you?" Frequent lingering hugs are comforting and emotionally healing as well. There is nothing wrong with being emotionally vulnerable. It helps with healing the raw emotions and helps lead to greater acceptance and serenity.

I can just imagine that you and your Mom are just in shock - numbed by the news. I'm sorry you are both going through this difficulty in your lives. May you find daily strength to face the journey that lies ahead.

Take some time to breathe, cry, and be still. Allow your spirit to lead the way. Serenity helps. Keep sharing. There are so many caring caregivers on this site!
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Sometimes it's best not to say anything at all. Just listen. Be there.
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How about a second opinion?
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Are they going to give her any kind of treatment? If so, then the battle has just begun, and its not over by a long shot. If they are not going to do anything, then you have to make the most of the time she has. Even though the doctors can make an educated guess as to how long we have to live when diagnosed with a fatal illness, only God truly knows when our time will be up. The mind is a powerful piece to our existence and miracles happen every day! Try to keep her positive, and don't focus on how much time is left. Take one day at a time, making each day the best day. I will keep you both in my prayers.
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