I make a promised phone call every week. I live too far away to visit more than a few times a year. My mother is dwelling (again) on the holidays. She has a memory of being a wonderful hostess, wife, and mother, when in truth it was a tense time saturated with alcohol (she drank a lot). The days were not wonderful, they were something to get through. My mother is in her early 90's and I'm no spring chicken any more either. I'm just tired of years of hearing how hard it was for her (when it wasn't) and how much she did for dad and me(she didn't). Our conversations about the holidays are one-sided in the past few years about the holidays. I tried non-committal answers per some advice, but she persists in getting validation. Today's phone call didn't go well; she demanded to know why I didn't speak about wonderful memories about "her holidays" in the home I grew up in. I just said that I couldn't. She tore into me verbally (that's nothing new) and I'm just getting too worn down to deal with it. So, do I lie and say it was all wonderful, or do I stick to my truthful perspective? If I tell her she was wonderful, then she uses it in another conversation to say that she was too good for my dad and me. Dad has been dead for years so I cannot ask him to intervene, and I'm about the only live family member left. We are just in this vicious circle about "memories" and no others to offer perspective. How would some of you out there respond? Help!