My brother and his wife want to "save" on Mom's home are by getting a "roommate" for her in her home. Any thoughts?

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And pay for it with room and board. I asked them if they would do it, and of course they said no. I told them I thought she would end up a victim of someone who would take advantage of her dementia. They said that I could screen the candidates. I reiterated that it is a terrible idea; that only a professional (CNA) would be qualified (or want to do this type of work). Your thoughts? I would like o show them the results.

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Thank you all for your answers.... I sent a copy to my brother and SIL.. funny, haven't heard a thing from them. I think the answer from gladimhere and GardenArtist really got them... unfair labor practices? They prolly never even thought about that... I'm beginning to think that they don't (think!)... Thanks, guys... I really appreciate all your answers... We should be able to do a "group hug" here... wonderful therapy.
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Agree with Jeanne that it might work for an aging woman to rent out a room in an ideal circumstance, but it is a bad idea when there is dementia. I have often suggested sharing a home with renters. I even saw it on Hallmark Hall of Fame, made for t.v. movie. In today's world, and with differences even within families, I am changing my mind-will no longer suggest renting out rooms. Also, thanks to Garden Artist for the reality check.
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If she is in Independent Living, how on earth will she have a roommate? Move her to Assisted Living, it sounds like it is time.
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Doesn't sound like a good idea. I don't think your brother has thought this out.
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I also agree this isn't a very good idea. Once dementia progresses, it would become very difficult for one person to care for a person all day and into the night. That person would be lucky to get 2 to 3 hours of sleep, depending on the patient.

Even for a free roof over one's head [room] and a refrigerator/pantry filled with groceries [board], that job would be short lived. Your Mom's house would have a revolving door, and with dementia your Mom would be very confused with all the new faces. Even with a skilled caregiver from an Agency, the caregiver would burn out quickly.
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Tell brother to go to a caregiver support meeting. Talk to the people there, he will hear all sorts of frightening stories about why this should not be done. Does mom have resources other than her house? Her resources are for her care and if a live in is an option that will cost your mom in the area of $12,000.00 a month. And brother thinks he will get someone to come in and pay rent? Even provide care for free? This is a nightmare waiting to happen. Your mom and you and bro could be charged with unfair labor practices. Find another suitable arrangement.
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Excellent discussion, Jeanne.

Wondergirl, if Mom's house is paid for I would try to convince her to move into assisted living and sell her house to help pay for her care. I hope you can work something out.
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Bad, bad idea. Not necessarily a bad idea for an older woman who has extra room and wants to take in a boarder. That might work if it is approached carefully. But a terrible, awful, and unworkable idea for a woman or man with dementia.

(Even without being sure I understand this, I know it is a terrible idea.)

It sounds like Brother is expecting someone to take care of Mom in exchange for room and board. Is that the case? Who would accept such an offer? A homeless person who isn't qualified to get a caregiver job? People who take care of persons with dementia expect to get paid, in addition to room and board. Someone who would do it for just room and board would raise all kinds of red flags in my mind.

Or does brother mean you should advertise for a housemate -- someone to just share the house. And since they'd be sharing the house with Mom who has dementia they'd be expected to help her a little and for that they wouldn't have to pay rent. But Mom has dementia. Even if she needs just "a little" help now she will need more and more as time goes on. This is simply not a "roommate" situation. It is a "home-health-help" situation. Again, no qualified person is going to do that for free rent. (Family members do, sometimes, but Brother already said he doesn't want to do it.)

Surely Brother isn't thinking about renting out space in mother's home. She needs care!

So any way I interpret this post, I can't see it being a workable idea.

Persons with dementia cannot live alone past the very earliest stage. Usually by the time they have enough symptoms to be diagnosed they cannot live unsupervised. They may be able to stay in their homes for a while with enough support. We we able to help our mother stay in her senior apartment for a couple of years beyond her "mild cognitive impairment" diagnosis by arranging for meals on wheels, doing her shopping, having a visiting nurse help with her pills, and having a "homemaker" do her laundry and cleaning. That was not enough long term. She is now thriving in a nursing home.

You are all wise to recognize that Mom can't continue to live in her home without support. But the solution your brother suggests is just not feasible.

It is wonderful that Brother wants to be involved and I'm sure the two of you can work out a lot of ways he can do that from out of state. I wouldn't discourage him from continuing to contribute ideas, but this particular one is just not going to work.
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My brother and SIL are from out of state. My brother said that he/they wants to be involved in her care. My mom has gotten worse during the past two months. My brother flew down to participate in a financial adviser meeting and to help me sort through some of the piles of files and now, overdue bills, my mom had piled on the kitchen counter and pulled from the drawers in her office desk (sundowning?). He went with me to the doctor to help get her diagnosed. She has been denying that there's anything wrong. Finally we were able to get her referred to a neurologist, as this time she wasn't able to fool the doctor with both of us there. We have a dual power of attorney naming me and my brother as independent proxies. I think they mean well, but I hope they will drop the idea after seeing your answers. Thank you for your responses!
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Are you meaning that they want to bring in a caregiver who will work for room and board? Good luck with that. The only caregivers I know who will work for basically nothing are family members. :)
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