Anyone else here in a sandwich generation type situation?

Follow
Share

I'm a married SAHM caring for my mother in law and my 2 small children (3 and 5). Could use a friend who understands my position. Thanks.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
5

Answers

Show:
Thanks for responding! It's always nice to feel not completely alone in this world. I'm probably a lot younger than others in this position. My husband is 10 years older than me...I'm 37...so I'm really not considered a baby boomer. I'm working on how to communicate with everyone to make things a bit better. My husband is an only child so no help that way. No friends or family here in Delaware....so it's a bit depressing sometimes. Thanks for reaching out!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I just wanted to add one more thing. When I was trying to clean 2 houses, attend school functions and sports functions i was at my breaking point. I hired a friend who did house cleaning on the side, so long ago, but I think she came every 3 weeks, cleaned kitchen top to bottom, bathrooms and vacuumed & dusted. Was the best thing i ever did. After that all I did was washing and cleaning toilets and sinks every few days. Think of what takes a lot of your time and look for ways to get help.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I know what you mean. When I first started caring for my grandmother my daughter was 2 and my twin dons were 7. My grNdmother was in hospuce that year and my friends were truly a blessing. Did things like take my kids to the pumpkin patch and lunch with Santa with their kids. Up until that point I went on every preschool and school trip. Much guilt with this cause I was the only family member that did not work but I had to choose between kids and grand mom on hospice. It all worked out. By the time my mom needed full time help my sons were seniors in high school and my daughter in grade school. What i did and still do for my family has taught my children many wonderful life lessons. I am so proud of my children for all that they have done but especially for their loving care of their grandparents . Take any and all help that is offered and don't be too proud to ask.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I understand too. You have it harder than I do though, my three kiddos are 16, 19, and 21. The 19 year old is at college, but the other two are full-time at home. And my MIL is only 3 miles down the road. It's hard enough to be a caretaker with three fairly self-sufficient kids, but you have LITTLE ones! Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.
The one thing I do that saves my sanity, on one day a week I'm selfish and I go out to lunch at a place I love with a People magazine or other similarly fluffy magazine BY MYSELF. I don't have to worry about what someone else wants or needs, I just read stupid articles about movie stars, time saving meals, and how to declutter my home, and forget that I'm squished between an ungrateful MIL who doesn't think she needs any help and three teens who KNOW they don't need my help, LOL!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Oh my heavens yes, I do understand your position. I have an 11 year old, my parents both have dementia and have been living independently (with a lot of help from me and from their saintly neighbors), and my MIL who is in her 90s is very healthy for her age, but very demanding on my husband's time. We barely have time to breathe between the demands of the generations above and below us. I'm so grateful for our friends who pinch hit for child-minding when needed, and for my parent's neighbors who just spontaneously started doing things like taking out their trash for them, etc. last year when it became clear that my dad was no longer able to do it himself. Having small children would make it much, much harder so you have my sympathy. I think at this time in the US population, with so many boomers out there with parents in their 80s and 90s plus their own kids, there are probably quite a number of us "sandwich generation" people!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.