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hi, thanks in advance
Mom pees 3X a night and is NOT incontinent! Mom is 91 and very weak. using a walker but it's not pretty. we've got live in care for her, mostly family members on shifts. the PLAN was for her to call for help in middle of nt when she has to pee, and we'd struggle groggily w/her to the bathroom. or, should we just let her go overnight (more than once?) in an adult diaper? is the diaper route riskier healthwise? (UTI's, etc.) during the day, she mostly lets us help her to the john, but we're all awake so it's not as difficult, as, say 3 am. thanks for any input!

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OP here: she does have a commode, right near the bed. and in this rare instance, she does not consider going in her diaper an indignity. she's ok w/it. very practical and also trying to keep her sense of humor. the thing is, she's SO weak that even a nearby commode is difficult. going in her diapers and not having to get out of bed (for 8 hrs?) has such strong appeal. it actually would be better for her amount of sleep-wise, and clearly better for caretakers. i just wanted to know if it was healthy, or asking for physical problems (UTI's,e tc.), and also, how "standard " it was (if at all) to give someone 8 hrs. in diapers, and then change them in the a.m. thanks all!
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Sounds a lot like our situation. As she was unsteady, we did not allow her to use the walker without Someone assisting. During the day we helped mom to the bathroom. At night she would not call us to help or we were asleep. to reduce the risk of falls we got an alarm mat. so as soon as she put any weight on the matter getting out of bed the alarm would sound. The actual alarm Could be plugged up anywhere... in the living room if I or my niece were on the couch or in the other bedroom. We didn't plug it I her room so it would not startle her. We were always able to get to her in time To help her to the bathoom. She wore depends to bed. So if there was an accident we just get her cleaned up an back into bed. During the day We would push the mat back under the bed... As someone was usually close by. She preferred not to use the depends if she could get up. We also had a bedside commode but she didn't like it in her room. She preferred to go to he bathroom. It did get to the point where she used the depends and the bedside commode more more . We changed the depends and were very diligent about her peritoneal care. Just like you would a baby.. kept Her clean n dry as possible. However she still experienced occasional UTIs.
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It is not realistic to expect her to remember to call someone for help. Sorry.

It might be "safer" for her to go in her disposable undies, but that is a very, very difficult indignity to convince someone to do. How would you react to someone saying "It's OK. Just pee your pants and we'll change you in the morning"? If you are past 4 years old it is ingrained that you don't wet yourself.

What about a bedside commode? Do you think she could safely get out of bed, take just a few steps, and use that? Even though my husband needed help to do even that it was much easier on both of us not to have to somehow get into the bathroom.

It is possible that in order to keep Mom at home, someone actually has to take a night shift, staying awake, and sleeping some other time of day.

If she were in a care center, several staff would be awake and on duty and could help her to the bathroom 3x a night. I'm not suggesting a care center (I don't know enough about your situation) but just pointing out that to keep her safe you may have to adopt some of their practices.
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There is another option -- put a potty chair by her bed. That way she won't have to make the long trek to the bathroom. You can buy a potty chair that is stable and has a lid to close to contain any smells. Do you think she would use one?
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