Running out of excuses for mom who every day says she wants to go home!
Hello again!
What do you do when you run out of excuses and ideas to convince my mother (80) with moderate to severe dementia that I can't take her to her house (today)
The last attempt was yesterday. We get in the car and I make-believe the car doesn't want to start.
Mom’s character has been always a very strong one. And as dementia progresses, she's becoming aggressive and very angry with me of course since is just me and her.
She's always been independent and private. She now lives with me since I had to move her from a second-floor house to a ground floor with no stairs, because it's becoming difficult for her to walk.
Her Effexor med was increased but this was just last week. Her geriatric prescribed her valium (5m) and to just give her a half twice a day if I have to when she gets anxious. Valium only works for about two hours after that she still insists on going home, she gets so angry that her face turns red and she starts breathing ( through her mouth) like she's running out of breath. Don't know what to do!
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When my Mom [98] was in long-term-care, she kept asking to go home, which I thought was the house that Mom and my Dad shared, and where Dad still lived. It wasn't until she asked if her parents were there that I realized, oh it the house where Mom grew up. I found I could use the same therapeutic fib as my Mom would forget from day to day. You could try that.
Regarding the issue of becoming aggressive, time to have Mom tested for an Urinary Tract Infection. As we get much older, whenever one gets a UTI, there are emotional symptoms that may show up, such as aggressiveness, fighting, seeing things that aren't there [my Dad saw ants when he had a UTI], etc. Call your Mom's primary doctor as ask what to do.
Though I believe in God read my Bible and trust Him is frustrating when you just don't know what to do or say. Or not knowing how she going to react from one minute to the next.
I don't mind the caring for her but YES, to answer your question I can't handle her anxiety and her anger.
Her geriatric is a nurse practician and her primary doctor for the past 11 years is a P.A.