He has had it for 6 years. He has been diagnosed by professionals more than once, but I, as his constant carer does everything for and/or with him. (But I am tiring)
There's no sense in doing this. You won't convince him. Even if you did you'd have to have the same battle every day or every few hours. Just let him be, believe what he wants and don't hurt his feelings or piss him off more than he already is. It's tough.
I agree, it would probably be pointless, even if he agrees and understands at the time he will forget. Instead of telling him you need "xyz" because he has dementia tell him it is because you are getting too old and tired to do everything.
There's no reasoning when reasoning is leaving. I hurt my mom once by reminding her that she had the illness and she needed to get through the occupational therapy. She cried and was depressed for the rest of the day. I still hurt from my action and she has no recollection. That staged passed and a new challenged came....so be creative or try at a different time of the day. Every stage has its challenges....
So, Jenn, what do you want to do? Can you see yourself still caring for hime next year at this time? Are you struggling with making the decision to find another place for him to live? Have you had really quite enough? That is OK. Many of us reach the point to continue would affect our health and sense of well being. Not many are able to continue to the end.
Do you want to remind him of his illness, hoping he will accept it and making placement of him easier? That most likely will not happen. He is not able to reason or make sense of much. He thinks he is perfectly fine most of the time. You need to do what is best for you. What do you want?
My mother has been diagnosed with dementia, but I don't mention it to her anymore. If I even hint that something is wrong with her mind, she gets angry and says that she's not crazy. She has seen the medical reports, but they don't register. There is no point in me trying to make her understand what is going on with her, so I don't do it.
Other people on the group have had loved ones that understood they had dementia. I think it made it easier for them to deal with things that were happening. However, some people will never accept the notion. I can understand. People don't want to think of their brain being damaged and they don't want others to see them as mentally deficient. I believe we have to let the person with dementia decide what they can accept and find ways to work with it. That can be things like referring to the "memory problem" while leaving out mention of the D word. It is easier for people to accept that they have some problem with memory than it is that they have dementia.
Do you want to remind him of his illness, hoping he will accept it and making placement of him easier? That most likely will not happen. He is not able to reason or make sense of much. He thinks he is perfectly fine most of the time. You need to do what is best for you. What do you want?
Other people on the group have had loved ones that understood they had dementia. I think it made it easier for them to deal with things that were happening. However, some people will never accept the notion. I can understand. People don't want to think of their brain being damaged and they don't want others to see them as mentally deficient. I believe we have to let the person with dementia decide what they can accept and find ways to work with it. That can be things like referring to the "memory problem" while leaving out mention of the D word. It is easier for people to accept that they have some problem with memory than it is that they have dementia.