What rights do families have if a loved one is in a nursing home?

Follow
Share

In terms of what the social worker tells our loved one about going home? My father has been at this nursing home for about a year (vascular dementia) and we visit him everyday. We have told him that it's temporary until he gets better, even though we know it won't happen. It seems like every 6 months he begs to go "Home" and the social worker tells him that he is allowed to go home for 7 days and it might be good for him. Unfortunately, we just don't have the means to take care of him at home. Can we tell the social worker not stir pot and recommend things that the family is not comfortable with or able to do?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
13

Answers

Show:
Hi All! Thank you for your responses. I talked to the nursing home director and she stated my father asked the social worker if he's allowed to go home for 7 days and per the director the social worker could no lie to the patient. 1. my father has dementia and so I am amazed that he would come up with that by himself 2. even if he did (which i highly doubt) wouldn't the greater good for the patient and the family, to just redirect?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

First, talk to the social worker. Try to sort out what really happened. Also convey the reality that Dad isn't going home, even to visit for a week. Please go in with an open mind, and avoid being belligerent. Dad has to live with these people. Don't treat them as the enemy. It is possible the social worker really is an idiot. (They infiltrate every field.) Then you may have to go over her head. But do start from a neutral position, please.

Second, take a deep bow and a few gold stars out of the petty cash drawer. You and family are visiting every day. That certainly sends the message that you have not abandoned your loved one. If you pop in at different times of the day, that gives you a pretty good idea of what goes on there. No espionage equipment needed.

As for figuring out your "rights" -- do any of you have power of attorney and/or medical proxy? That would make a difference in what you could enforce as your role. I think it would be more helpful and constructive to focus on what power you have to make things as good as they can be for your loved one. You certainly can visit him. You can bring to the attention of the staff things you are concerned about or things you think should be changed. You are likely to be taken more seriously if you are firm but polite, and if you offer solutions as well as note problems.

Please come back and tell us what your investigation reveals.We learn from each other.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Here is one for you. I just found several really neat spy videos. Since you go everyday, I would invest in one, place it in an inconspicuous location, and get it on video. This way you are well armed with what you would need in case you do have to "Raise Cane!" It will also give you a good idea of what his day is like while you aren't there. I used one while my son was going through his really nasty divorce. It shut here down the minute she saw the videos. Best of luck. Prayers for you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Most dementia residents in nursing homes feel abandoned by their families.In order to allay this fear, take dad home occasionally if you can.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Even though your father has dementia, he still has rights. Having said that I know it's difficult to care for someone at home, let alone someone with dementia. There are options, you could check into a waiver program and move him into an assisted living facility (if he qualifies). AFL's are more homelike than a nursing home. Many people with dementia ask or even cry to go home, however when they are home they continue to cry to go home. If he has adjusted well to the nursing facility I wouldn't move him. You need to attend the care plan conference and tell staff your expectations and limitations regarding taking your father home. It can be very difficult at home especially with the family works or have their own health issues. You can contact your local Area Agency on Aging or Bureau of Senior Services for information on options. The long-term care ombudsman can assist you in advocating for your fathers care in the facility. Dementia doesn't get better, it doesn't improve and will only worsen over time. You can continue to be supportive to your father while he is living in the nursing home.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes, while there are, unfortunately, nutty social workers [as well as good ones, I hasten to add], you simply can't trust everything a dementia patient says. My relatives would sometimes come out with startling things that simply weren't true. Speak to the sw and you'll probably find there's no basis to what your Dad is saying -- patients cling to the least little hope that they can go home and often [deliberately] misinterpret what is said to them . Besides, paying for an ambulance to take him back and forth would be financially prohibitive.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I have had a situation with my dad that while he was in the nursing home for rehab after cardiac failure...the DON of the nh went into my dad's room, WHILE NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE (in fact, we were just down the hall getting some coffee) and she told him some very disturbing info that immediately got my dad so upset and crying that it took quite a while to calm him down....after that happened I stormed down to HER bosses office , explained what happened, and banned that dam DON from my dad's room !!! She steered clear of me after that !!! All I could do was glare at her because she made my fragile dad so upset she could have sent him into worse problems !!! So if this sw is possibly saying things, I would get to the bottom of it right away....and if she really is saying things that aren't true, or would cause problems at home, get her !!! Make a formal complaint to the DON or her boss, ban her from your dad's room....protect your dad !!! Just because ppl have degrees and/or certificates, or titles of any kind doesn't make them smart or know what they are doing....believe me, I experienced alot of 'dumb' ppl who were supposed to be 'professionals'.....and, other ppl don't live your lives so don't let them !!! If it's not a good 'fit' all the way around, then protect that at all costs !!!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I trust you have his DPOA (durable power of attorney) and his health care poxy, HIPAA .

FWIW families have Naada, zero, No-rights. IMCO

WARN FAMILY MEMBERS
Confabulating and Confabulations Honest lies

In Alzimer's psychology, vascular dementia, confabulation (verb: confabulate) defined as the production of fabricated, distorted or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive.

Confabulations are major concern because confabulations are likely to be believed and acted upon.

It is difficult for everyone to accept a mind is damaged by Alzheimer's Disease. Not only is memory damaged their ability to process thoughts and conversations is impaired.

Confabulations are a major annoyance and can be dangerous- when we the take everything in a discussion at face value. Confabulating is very frequently observed in people with Alzheimer's information that is blatantly false yet are coherent, internally consistent, and appear relatively normal.

IMCO, if a person has demantia, Alzheimer's, assume they are confabulating and do not take what they say as face value. Validate You can not assume what they say because it is coherent, internally consistent, and appears relatively normal.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes you must talk with the facility's social worker and tell her/him what the family can handle and what it cannot. The job of a social worker is to make the "social" environment better. It would not make things better for your family to have your father come visit. People with dementia in a facility usually want to "go home" so just know that and do not feel guilty. He is in the best place for him. Know that you are doing the correct thing for him. Best wishes!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Here in NY if I take my sister out of her group home for more than two days, the facility loses Medicaid per diem funds. I would check with Medi-Cal if I were you and you don't want to pay out of pocket for a bed hold. Again, DON'T believe the patient!!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.