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My friend is my power of attorney and is 82 and has dementia. I need to revoke that and get someone else. Do i tell her?

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In NYS the designated POA needs to sign with Notary, as well as successor(s).
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Legally, no you don't have to tell her. Ideally you pick someone who will outlive you by a decade or two and will carry out business in accordance with your wishes. You DO notify the new POA though, to be sure they are willing to accept the responsibility.
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