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They left me as the carer and abandoned me as well! Mum has parkinsons & dementia &....! My family abandoned us and I was forced into carer for mum cause my family refused to even visit mum & refused to help mum

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It sounds to me like your mom needs to be somewhere where there are professional nurses 24x7 and that is not something she can get at home. I understand your siblings.
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Dina, you have not got a reality-based view of what the modern skilled nursing facility looks like. I think your mother needs a higher level of care than can be provided in anyone's home.
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Sorry tired & fell asleep
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Even that was hard cause i was working full time & had to make carer arrangements so lucky i still have the home service for mum its only 1 1/2 hrs 7 days a week for personal care, eating & walking for mum. And mums Docs did misdiagnose her so i needed help & control over the ongoing matter of 6 yrs😍
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Do they perhaps believe that she would have better care in a facility? Sometimes this is why family steps away.
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I think they have had enough maybe ? cause mum has a complex medical history & they do not care, my brother cares but mum is a difficult person. Mum is uneducated , illiterate & the system has failed her for 25 yrs.
mum has bad back..depression , arthritis , rheumatism she has panic attacks , mania, anxiety which are all new things since the doctors gave her endless drugs for pain and parkinsons which made her crazy recently... I do not know ? But i do know that since i have experienced this i can tell you that what mum has done or anyone else with medication side effects which are very psychotic The matter Really is a nightmare for the family or carer. In nursing homes & hospitals the elderly are severely sedated to the point of possibly causing heart attacks , or low blood pressure or turning into zombies with more serious side effects! Which is the better option ? It is extremely hard cause its not my life its mums , i believe in freedom & humanitarian stuff & the Buddhist ways & ...all things free & natural . I think too many drugs is or can be dangerous & out of control but then again mum or some elderly are out of control. But I am certain that if families join forces & take equal turns of care cause anything less can be seen sometimes as an excuse & then families can make educated decisions & i can say this cause i have lived with mum & her illness for 6 yrs & its ugly & its scary & its a nightmare!!
I wonder if the mind really does develop dementia or is our society out of control with prescription drugs & what are we doing cause these drugs have dangerous serious side effects. I wish my family was still beautiful now like they were when i was growing up but sadly since mum got sick my family has been torn apart.
And i have done this on my own literally! With a tiny tiny tiny bit of help! I think my sisters are selfish and so too are all the partners that my siblings have married! It has caused us to be estranged! Plus i see them in a different light
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Babalou, hi, we are waiting on high care service at home , its been 1 yr now, they say soneone has to pass to get the service & prior the age care, gvt low care facilities made us wait for 3yrs for a service at home for liw care & when i followed up for the home care, age care said bad luck your mum is high care so join the que and you gotta wait & start from scratch. its been 4 yrs if wait for hone care. Lucky i had care assistance at home with real carers . Even that was hard cause i was working fulk time & had to make carer arrangements so lucky i still have the home service for mum its 1 1/2 hrs 7 dsys a week for petsonal
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Dina,
It sounds like you have a great heart and lots of devotion, but if someone with your mom's condition was being cared for as you describe by you in the home with limited outside help....I would be very concerned. I'm not sure if that is why your family stays away, but I would try to get more information and see what resources are immediately available for your mother and not for something that takes years to obtain. Not all facilities drug up their residents. Some places offer quality care, with respect and compassion.

I wish you both all the best.
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