Follow
Share

For each year before your full retirement age, you lose a hundred dollars a month, so I will be getting 200 less per month than I would if I waited. BUt, I don't think my mother has two years left to live, I do have help during the day while I'm at work, but I feel I am the better caregiver and should be there. Everyone tells me to keep working, but I feel sad that money needs to take precedence over my sweet mother. The economy scares me in that the cost of everything keeps risiging terribly and when I'm older the extra money could make a huge difference in quality of life. I need advice on my options.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
igloo572, thanks for sharing that perspective on family leave. I suspect that in many situations you are right -- ensuring that you'll have a job when your leave is up is not the same as ensuring that your career will still be on track. That is worth taking into account, especially for younger people.

For someone near retirement, as lightrider is, it probably isn't very important that promtion opportunities may be reduced.

Family leave is a good solution for some, but if you need ongoing income to get by, not working at all and getting no pay might not be as suitable as working reduced hours and having at least some pay coming in. That option is not always available, of course.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1gem - Family leave imho works if you happen to work in an industrial setting or other large business where there are more than 50 and your being gone for 12 unpaid weeks doesn't really affect the overall business or your place in it. If your work in a creative industry, like ad agency, pr firm, design or arch group, or a more consulting business like law or accounting firm, doing family leave basically will be the kiss of death for you for advancement. Yep you'll have your "job" but you will get passed over for the better teams as you have shown that you cannot be counted on or that you are not essential to the team. I have a small creative business and about 1/3 of the applicants I get have done flma and then found that going back means being demoted/forgotten and they now find they need to get another position with a new firm where that history isn't the dark cloud over them.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Light, I appreciate it that you want to take care of your mom. However, I think you should keep working and work out a compromise to take care of her too. The longer you wait to receive SS the better it will be. Be grateful you have your health. Mine isn't so good, otherwise I would have kept on working. Miss the job terribly.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Remember that there is the family medical leave act. They have to hold your job. That is federally mandated. The time taken off, does not need to be in succession. You could take a few days off here and there, (planned ahead with your company, to be respectful to them) and then try to save some, if you think Mom's condition is rapidly deteriorating.(Maybe only has weeks to live.) The medical leave act starts the 1st day you start using it and then is a "rolling" year. Then that day the next year is when it starts again. Does that make sense? This may not be a good answer, but a compromise. Hope this may be some new insight for you. That would give you at least an extra week a month, so to speak, to spend with your mom. Or if you need more sooner, then take advantage of that.
I would definitely wait, if your health is good, to retire. It is sad that money has to make the decisions. But no one will take care of you, if you do not look our for yourself. But, in the end NO ONE can make the tough decision that you have before you. Blessings.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Isn't it interesting how families who once seemed supportive or at least congenial, can change in a heartbeat when a parent is ill or dying. It would take volumes to work out the dynamics, but it isn't pretty - or fun - or easy. At least it isn't forever and we can walk away at the end. Such a mess to end even a beautiful life. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everyone work together for what's best for all...but I lost my wand a very long time ago.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You are not alone - I had a choice - after losing my job - had many opportunities to work and try to stay in my home - at the insistance of my siblings - and the timing - I decided to give up everything and move back to take care of my mother whom, with a degenerative kidney disease, probably would not live long and although I had supported her financially for 30 years while I was away, my siblings wanted me to come back and take care of her - they insisted I should be back with family and not alone - (whithout a family???-) little did I know it was so they could live their own lives, their children were grown - mom had helped them take care of kids for years and now was only a burden as they needed their own lives - understand that - mom and I never had a close relationship - she was always critical of me - looked too much like my father -
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thanks very much, Igloo - But I don't have a husband who's social security I can use. I've been taking care of mom for a very long time. It's just lately that she's been going downhill faster. I appreciate everyone's advice. I'll just have to pray, keep working, and hope for the best. Knowing that I'm not alone helps a lot.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

light - do you have your current SS statement to see what your benefit $$ are? If not go to socialsecurity.gov/mystatement to get it.

imho delaying the SS benefit is always the better choice financially as SS both for the benefit amount and the cost of living increase that is based on your benefit $. But only you can decide if whether setting your SS at the lowest rate by taking it at 62 and being with family trumps the financial. I think if you wait to file at age 66 your benefit check is about 25% bigger that what you would get at 62 and even bigger if you wait to 70.

There is a website that's good on this issue: www.livingto100.com. You can imput your info both on financial and health stuff to get an idea what your lifespan is and the SS payout.

Perchance could you get instead get a 'survivor benefit" based on your husbands or exDH's work/SS record? He could do a "file & suspend" if he is still working, this seems to be really good if he is planning on working to age 70 or beyond and the younger wife can get the lower age SS @ 62 and then later on after he dies get the much higher benefit based on what he got when he finally retired. This file & suspend can work for children too - we have friends who wives are younger and the kids get SS benefit based on the older dad as they are dependent minors.

Best of luck, none of this is simple.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

thanks for the advice. I appreciate it. I'm still torn though since mom isn't doing well. I can't afford to take more time off since I can't pay my bills if I don't get paid...and I only have help watching her for a few hours while I'm at work. I know I would feel better being with her and taking care of her...but I don't want to be destitute when I'm in her shoes either. In a perfect world, money wouldn't matter. This is not a perfect world. I hope I make the right decision.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

lightrider,

You might want to think about this when you are considering retiring early and living off social security.

When it comes to Social Security, the majority of new retirees are no longer getting what they paid for.

In a trend that's only projected to get worse, retirees from the middle-class on up are cashing checks that are smaller than the ones they wrote to the government. For the first time since the program's inception, only people in the lowest income brackets are currently receiving more in benefits than they paid out in taxes over the course of their careers, according to an Associated Press analysis.

Read more: https://www.agingcare.com/News/retirees-receives-less-in-social-secuirty-152407.htm
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

When you are older the extra money could make a huge difference in quality of life. Wouldn't it be good if your mother had an extra $200 each month to spend on her care?

Is there a compromise possible? Could you work fewer hours, spend more time with Mom, and still have more income when you do retire? Is there any possibility that you could do some of your work from home?

I, too, hate it that money has to take precendence. But money translates into quality of life, and being able to pay your own way, and it cannot be ignored..
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter