Retirement home says father is not a good fit and he (they) would be happier if he left. He is putting increasing stress on staff. Advice?

Have a somewhat similar problem with my brother in California. He went into a rehab facility initially (which is also a skilled nursing facility). After finishing his rehab, there was no place for him to go that he could afford. Since he's on Medicaid, we applied for a state assisted living waiver; still waiting for approval. This would allow him to receive an extra allowance from the state but there are very few places to choose from.

He's been diagnosed with bipolar disorder but refuses to take the appropriate medication. And without a comprehensive court order, he can't be forced to take the meds. He hates it there and complains all the time. He gives the staff a hard time so they don't want him there either. But state law doesn't allow the SNF to discharge him unless there's a safe place for him to go. 

My concerns are: 1) Assisted Living Facilities are barely regulated at all and certainly not like SNFs. They don't have to wait until another facility accepts him; 2) With his bi-polar disorder it makes him very difficult to get along with. I am told by the local ombudsman this is becoming a common problem with difficult seniors with mental health or personality issues.

I am extremely reluctant to agree to him going to an assisted living facility because of the lack of restrictions on them and none of these facilities (SNFs or ALFs) are prepared to really take care of someone with mental health issues and they won't approve him for a facility that takes dementia patients because he hasn't been diagnosed with that.

I don't really have an answer but my only advice is don't allow him to be moved until you have a good, safe place for him to go. Like my brother, it sounds like he wouldn't be happy anywhere. I totally understand your frustration. My prayers are with you.

Imho, he may require a higher level of care.

I too had the same problem with my Mother. What I did was to go and participate in activities she might like with her in the retirement home. Eat dinner with her. This way you can help engage them in meeting new friends who also live there. Make sure to also spend time with them as often as you can while they are in there. I hope this helps.

Help with acronyms.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/common-caregiving-abbreviations-and-acronyms-435589.htm

THAT is what their JOB is...Too bad. THAT is what. DAD is paying for. He is safer there unless you Find a Caregiver a thome, He cannot be left Alone.

Hello, Wild31 : ) Bless you and your family for all you're doing. I wish you strength during this time. I'm glad you're here for me and for sharing yourself and your struggles with us. May you know peace.

My thoughts for this is that with my mother in law, I treated her like a second mother,she also said that she wanted to live her last days in her house. Perhaps he wants to do the same. There must be something you can do for him, maybe hire a nephew, niece, granddaughter,a social worker or someone you can trust. You all will be in our prayers that you get a solution for your dad quickly.

That sounds a lot like Alzheimer’s.

Is there a resolution for the possible UTI?
Can we have an update please?