We cared for Mom - who has Alzheimer's - in her home for several years. It reached a point that Dad's health was suffering and he decided after mom's last hospital stay to not bring her back home.
Mom is pretty advanced in her dementia. She rarely speaks. If she does she is not able to communicate. She can answer yes and no questions, but your never sure she is really answering the question you asked.
She is completely incontinent and is unable to tell you she has a mess in her pants. She still feeds herself, but has to be handed her utensil sometimes. And there are days we need to actually feed her some of her food. She has a Parkinsonian response from the brain damage - which means she goes backward instead of forward and has trouble with lines on the floor and doorways. She is a large woman - over 200 lbs - I think around 250. She wears 2x clothes. And has arthritis in her knees, spurs on at Achilles and plantar. The many steps of standing are confusing and painful.
Mom stands for me. She walks with me. The staff at the nursing home have great difficulty. They go too fast. They expect her to understand things she is not capable of understanding. And when she does not stand they say she is uncooperative and refusing. One day she was beginning a gout attack, someone had sent her shoes to laundry and they stood her in her sock feet on a slick floor and determined she was unable to stand and needed a lift. Dad and I allowed the lift during the gout attack, but then wanted to return to her standing and walking.
Unfortunately, this was soon after we had moved in and lots of staff got in the habit of her not standing and they are insisting it is unsafe for her to stand.
When we first moved in staff tolerated my being actively involved in Mom's care. She continues to stand and walk well with me. But not when I am not there. They continue to do things that do not work . They don't even give her a chance to stand but turn and pivot her pretty much tossing her in the bed scaring her half to death. That is hard to watch when she stands with me, walks to the bed, and sits down. I have been present with 1st shift the most and they are comfortable with me. And when I can't be there - mom has more problems but they are able to stand and walk her. Second shift will not listen and have begun pushing me out being a part of the transfers. I got a bit insistent - mistake I should gave kept my mouth shut been glad 1st shift was reasonable. Now 2nd shift has gotten management to say I cannot be a part of transfers. Unfortunately just as this was coming to a head Mom had a fall with myself and another cna. Which gives them a way to say she is unsafe with me. The cna was behind her and the chair got caught. She could not get it under Mom.
I go every day. I have actively cared for my mom for years. I am thankful for the care they give - but when I am there I want to card for my mom. Management says it is their policy that family not be involved in transfers. Well what they call transfers are far more traumatic and dangerous for everyone than a calm walk to bed. Standing is hard. But once she is up she is fine. I have had therapists tell me that it is a part of the Parkinson Ian response because it is the simultaneous forward and up motion of standing that is so confusing to her. Once she is there - all is good. It is necessary to believe she will stand and get her there. They don't believe she will stand and they let go of her and switch to a lift or they throw her to whatever the target is and leave her there.
Can they legally prevent me from continuing to stand and walk her?