How long can you go on feeling like you're responsible for their happiness (when you give up your own)?

I am going through this as well. My mom takes an antidepressant and it works well when she goes to Alzheimers program its just doesn't seem to work when she comes back home to my house. I have listened to her in conversations with her friends whom calls her still from NY. She giggles, tells jokes and has a ball on the phone. Maybe your mom is truly depressed.

She is playing the guilt card, but you don't have to pick it up. Talk to her MD about her destructive behavior and see if he can't give her an antidepressant. Tell her it is for her blood pressure, because it will help that too. Counselors told us to pull back, only visit her once a week, and to leave when the conversation gets ugly. Make her take responsibility for her own health. Tell her she is responsible for her own happiness. Happiness is inside you, or it does not exist at all. It's never the responsibility of someone else. No one has the right to emotionally abuse you. When they do, get up and get out.