Who is responsible for taking care of mother-in-law? - AgingCare.com

Who is responsible for taking care of mother-in-law?

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Each person is responsible for themselves, and for their children, by law. There is no legal responsibility for children to provide care for their parents. If a child becomes a legal guardian, that changes things, and they are obligated to arrange housing care and support.

If a child has been granted Power of attorney by the parent, depending upon the wording of said poa, the child might be obligated to arrange for care.

No one is obligated to provide hands on care for a parent or parent in law.
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IrmaMae, the only person responsible would be the spouse if the spouse is still alive and capable.... otherwise, it should be a person who wants to be the caregiver.

I would have helped my late ex-Mom-in-law in a heartbeat if she had no one, she was a wonderful, caring, and comical person who I loved dearly even though her son and I had been divorced for over 20 years. She and I kept in contact weekly up until her passing. She had a wonderful daughter, son-in-law, and grown grandson who helped her in every need in the final year when she needed a higher level of help.
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You say your MIL has vision problems. Are you familiar with Lighthouse for the Blind? You don't say how old MIL is. Is she living in her own home or in your home?
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Nobody, in my opinion. But I'm guessing that's not the answer you're looking for.

Ideally, it should not be a question of responsibility. Ideally, MIL should have accrued enough good will and loyalty in her lifetime that people close to her will step up and respond when she needs help. Since you need to ask the question, though, that apparently is not the case.

The best solution is one that does not require anyone to take responsibility that they don't want. If MIL has the funds to pay for help or assisted living, I would advocate that. If not, the family members should divide the care duties up in the fairest way possible. Unfortunately, there often no agreement on what that is. People immediately start claiming exemptions: " I live too far away." "I have kids still in school." "I have a demanding job." "I (or my spouse, or other immediate family) have health problems of my own." Often the first person to offer any help at all gets stuck permanently with the whole load, even though he/she would never have offered that.

Sometimes the only thing you can do, if you're the one stuck (I'm guessing that's the case) is to say what you will and won't do, and then stick to that. You don't need to say "This is your responsibility." You only need to say "This is not MY responsibility." That can sometimes force other family members to step up and share the responsibility. Good luck!
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